Listen in as La Manda Broyles visits with Deputy Directors, Kourtney Barr (Transformational Services), Miriam Krehbiel (Supportive Services), and Christian Stringfellow (Shelter Services) to reflect on 2023. From the moments of pride, to the difficulties of challenge, and the amazing God stories that make it all worth it.
We also discuss the importance of letting the Lord work on us so that we can do work for the Lord, as well as the understanding that the tension plays the tune.
To learn more about TRM Ministries: Click Here!
To support TRM, Click Here!
Listen in as La Manda Broyles visits with Deputy Directors, Kourtney Barr (Transformational Services), Miriam Krehbiel (Supportive Services), and Christian Stringfellow (Shelter Services) to reflect on 2023. From the moments of pride, to the difficulties of challenge, and the amazing God stories that make it all worth it.
We also discuss the importance of letting the Lord work on us so that we can do work for the Lord, as well as the understanding that the tension plays the tune.
To learn more about TRM Ministries: Click Here!
To support TRM, Click Here!
Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day and your blessings and provisions, and God, just again, thank you for this podcast, and all of our listeners pray that they would be blessed today, and Lord, thank you for this time of reflection and your provision. Bless this conversation and your holy name. We pray amen.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, this is lamanda broils, the executive director here at the Topeka rescue mission, and we want to welcome you into our community, our mission this Thursday, february 1st 2024. You know, josh, we were just laughing yesterday that on one hand, we can't believe it's already February, but then, on the other hand, it really seemed like five years happened in the 31 days of January.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I saw a post the other day that it was like well glad we made it through that year of January.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes a long month. I was just telling Courtney and Miriam that I think Christian was there too, that I had seen a post that said something about happy January 74th, and I'm like, yes, it was definitely a busy time as we reflect on 2023 as a whole, but I'm also already thinking of man, think about how much we have seen God do in the first month of 2024, and so we're just thankful. Thankful for all that God is doing and and Anticipatory of what he's going to do, and so that's gonna be kind of the theme of this morning's podcast. But before we get to that, remember I'm the sweet host. So when Barry does this, it turns into a malicious yes, people crying, yes, mean people distraught, and Everything, because he turns these things into quizzes, yes, and then I'm pretty sure he tells us that we're dumb he has, and he tells us that we don't amount to anything.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh, that's how I see it going worthless, worthless.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the good thing is, when I have the microphone it's all gonna be encouraging and uplifting, and so when Barry's away we will play. So but there are some neat days today, so one of them has already impacted me twice today. Does anybody want to take a guess at which one that one was? You've already had chocolate twice, Well, that tells you how much you know me. Maryam.
Speaker 2:Yes, actually the answer to that is no, but let's talk about that one, because that might be part of my problem. It is National Dark Chocolate Day. Do y'all like dark chocolate very much?
Speaker 3:Yes, I don't think I do. Yeah, christian, it's disgusting. Milk chocolate is kind of for whims, you know, for those people that can't really handle the. Maryam I said you said you were gonna be nice same thing about cream.
Speaker 2:Well, I do love chocolate, but dark chocolate is probably not my favorite. But for all of you dark chocolate lovers, today is National Dark Chocolate Day. The one that actually impacts me is change your and I'm gonna add a word in here Dang password. It is changed your password day, but I'm telling you I've already had to do that twice this morning and then I I I guess they expired.
Speaker 2:Oh, not because you just forgot, no, no, because I forgot well, okay, so there were three times then, because two were because of they expired. One was because I needed to not Use the same one, apparently because I can't remember it, but anyway, so it's also changed your password day. We won't dive into this, because we also have our IT person looking across from me, and so I will not talk about how I'm probably really dangerous with passwords, so we'll just keep moving right along.
Speaker 3:I'm not password.
Speaker 2:I don't use one for everything, but I'm probably not as great as what I could be. So, national Freedom Day so we are celebrating the feed freedoms we enjoy as US citizens, freedoms that we should never take for granted. You know, I was just thinking that a couple of days ago I was praying and I just thought there is so much. I was thinking of it in terms of beauty, but I think Now really what I was thinking was freedom. But there are so many things that we just every day get to experience that we probably don't stop and just say, man, I'm so thankful that I get to do this. The other day, the girls and I were praying about something and I literally thought, man, what about all of the people that live in different parts of the world that the mommas can't just scoop their daughters up and pray over them because of, you know, fear of of being harmed or killed? And so we do. We have a lot to be, a lot to be thankful for and for those who also Sacrificed family time, maybe their lives to, to serve, for us to to have those freedoms.
Speaker 2:Lastly, national get-up day. Let's talk about that one. We all fall. It's how you get back up. That matters. That's profound, josh. What'd you think when you put that one on here?
Speaker 1:Well, at first, when I saw it, I was like, is that, like just get up? So, I don't know if it's that, but it had this nice quote on it. I was like, oh, that's a great. Yeah, it's a great quote, it's good, it is true. Good to think about mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:You know, and I think it ties into what we do too Sometimes we receive stories of Homelessness, success stories, and I think, just even for the general public, when we see those successes, it's so easy to care and be excited for that person and to understand.
Speaker 2:What I think is difficult sometimes is realizing that the role of the rescue mission is to walk alongside people and sit down with them as they're fallen. And that story isn't as pretty. It isn't as pretty where the fall is addiction, the fall is Domestic violence, the fall is job loss, whatever the case may be, and we have to remember that the Progress and the journey is just as beautiful as the designation destination, and that sometimes takes time and takes work and is messy. So if you're listening to this and you feel like you have fallen, you know whether it's just a Family struggle, a health struggle, a personal thing Just know that you can get back up and I encourage you to reach out to someone so that you aren't laying in that fall by yourself, because we all need friends and we all need people to help us get back up.
Speaker 1:I think something that's really kind of applicable to what we do is a you know verse and proverbs. Hmm, sorry, I'm gonna take it there. Here we go, yep surprise 24, 16, for the righteous man falls seven times and rises again with a wicked stumble. In times of clemeny, the righteous man falls seven times. So you know, with our guests and with you know, individuals or their staff members when they fall, I don't care about the fall, I'll care more about it. We want to get up. Mm-hmm, let's get up, let's go.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, absolutely, and you know, I think, to piggyback off of that as we dive in, I am excited to have Miriam Crabill here and Courtney Barr and Christian string, fellow the deputy directors of the Topeka rescue mission, and Words cannot express my love and my adoration and my respect for these three teammates. It is such an honor to be able to walk alongside them and serve the Lord and Serve those in need, but also serve each other when that's needed, and the culture that I have with these leaders is incredible and and I will forever be grateful For each one of them in the role that they play in my life. But as we have them on today, our, our thought really was we want to reflect on what all God has done in 2023? But also be open with challenges and Share moments that we were excited about and where we seen God just work and flourish, and some of those reflections to our. We haven't seen God's plan yet, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't have a plan, whether that's for a department or a person or people we serve or ourselves, and so I think today is gonna be good. I think it's important that we reflect, because I think understanding where we come from helps us understand where we're going, and I also think that it is important Sometimes we get so wrapped up into what is still facing us, whether those are personal challenges, professional challenges, vision casting, all of these things that sometimes can be good things and they're molding us, but sometimes we can focus on that and we don't focus on look what did happen and look just at God's sovereignty through it. So, to piggyback off of that proverbs, I would like to kind of just kick us off and one thing that I think I'm the proudest of in 2023.
Speaker 2:I want to talk about our team for just a minute, and I see our team, and when I say our team, I mean TRM as a whole, trm staff. I'm not talking individual departments, I'm talking us as the hands, the feet and the heart of Christ, as much as we can possibly be, and Volunteers and and donors, but particularly staff. Right now, I Saw a lot of our staff, myself included, fall last year. I mean, we had deaths in the family and there were sickness, I mean, and that just plagued almost every household heartache and Just a lot of different things, and what I loved was that our staff always had at least one person on staff that they knew they could go to when that fall happened, and there was just time and time again where I would be walking through the hallways and I would see staff members holding hands and praying, or I would be going into a staff meeting and they would be hugging someone that obviously was going through a tough time and the thing that I, when I look at that, you know some people, some leaders, look at it as culture or they look at it as things like that, and that's true.
Speaker 2:But I look at that as raw people doing life, and that Christians don't mean we are perfect. It means we understand our imperfections and we love each other anyways and that love comes from understanding how much love God loves us and we try to extend that. On that, I would also say, tied to that proud moment is just how grateful I am for you three, because I have seen you either shepherd each other, shepherd your teams or allow people to help you, and vulnerability and tough times and things that takes us as leaders saying, man, I'm really struggling with this to then create a safe atmosphere that others know that they can be honest when they fall and then when we're taking care of them, then they're taking care of the ones that we serve when they see that they're in their fall. I fell a lot last year and I am so thankful that I did not feel all the time that I had to be a leader.
Speaker 2:Where I had to be perfect, and it was because of being surrounded by you three and just our incredible team. So I wanted to kick it off by saying I'm proud of our team, and not because of the fakeness, not because of the smile, not because of the joy Do I love those things and our happiness? Yes, but I loved the tough moments I saw all of us endure at one time and to at least have someone rally around us saying we've got you and I love that. Christian. What are maybe some of your proud moments? Or, as you look back on 2023, that you are just thankful for?
Speaker 1:That's a good question, but I really kind of back up what you said about our team. I think our teams really across the board we had a lot of people step into new positions and step into new opportunities and just thrive, some of my directors being in difficult situations without assistance and without support and they just killed it.
Speaker 2:Even when they felt like it was killing them Absolutely.
Speaker 3:And when they nearly did.
Speaker 2:And they did. Yes, They've all been there.
Speaker 1:But just their persistence and their development has been just amazing to watch. Both all of them have been just stepping into these new roles and these new challenges and these new opportunities and done it with such grace. So I can't speak highly enough about John Rachel Kim and just what they're doing there. One thing that's been a blessing is this is probably the closest that we've ever been to fully staffed.
Speaker 2:Let's just talk about that. Like we need like a harp playing in the background or something right, bells and whistles, bells and whistles. Yeah, we need to do a dance, something, a joyful noise.
Speaker 1:It's a miracle. I mean, I look back at times and I don't think that we've ever been close to fully staffed or close to adequately staffed, and so we were normally border, you know, borderline, on the edge of just sheer madness. And so right now I just I look at, you know, really I look at my director is I'm just really grateful for the cultures that they've been able to create or protect and support, and then creating an atmosphere where people want, you know, want to belong, and then they feel supported.
Speaker 2:I agree. I agree, Maryam. What are some of yours that you're proud of grateful for?
Speaker 3:You know, I think it's our ability to flex right that we aren't so stuck in how we've always done things that we haven't been able to adjust and adapt to every new thing coming at us, or at least new to us coming at us. Sure, you know there's been a lot of change. That happened in 2023. Many, many good things, you know, and I could reiterate everything you all have said about staff. But really looking at our ability to not get stuck in what we think is right, or not get stuck in what might be the easiest ways to do things, but to really embrace new challenges and come through it, continuing to make change right, because we know change is difficult for a lot of people.
Speaker 3:Some of us enjoy it, some of us aren't afraid of it, but a lot of people are. And I'm just so grateful for an organization and all of the people within it that have been willing to really move in different kind of ways because of the needs there are in the community, because of the changing faces of who we serve, and really just embracing that we have to do things different, and I'm really proud of that, because that's not every organization that is willing to do that. Now, you know, being capable to do it is one thing, and it's hard and we've learned a lot. So I'm also proud of us in that and that we continue to try to seek the Lord in everything that we do, and not just, not just because we think it's right, but because we really believe that it's what he's calling us into and that's. That's remarkable.
Speaker 2:You know, I agree, I as you're talking, there's so many different things that I could say to piggyback off of that, but I think the glaring one that shows us the flexibility of our teams is the most recent warming center. You know, we started kind of watching that storm at the end of a week a couple of weeks ago, and then by Sunday I was still kind of waiting on some information that I hadn't gotten and I just thought, you know, we can't really wait any longer and so called the deputies in. So it's Sunday afternoon, which is not something that I try to mess with, but you all came and you were here, and then it's the planning piece, and then my assistant, kim, comes in and she's got the binder from the last year's warming center. And then the next thing I know we've got to transform 206, which still looked like half warehouse, half Christmas it kind of looked like Christmas storage, yes, everywhere. We had to transform that into a place that was going to be safe, a place that I knew was going to be looking messy pretty soon, a place where we were going to have a lot of people inside there and a place that was going to be filled with love even if it didn't look lovable. And so multiple staff members then are coming in and they're transforming it, and none of our duties stop to do that. It just then is additional duties and responsibilities.
Speaker 2:And not only were people over there transforming 206, not only were you as deputies. You know, listening to kind of what I was concerned about what we needed to do, helping me process that, but then people were doing it joyfully. There was still silliness and there was laughing and there was, oh, we better brace ourselves because we know what this is going to be like for the next several weeks. But there's just incredible learning that comes from those moments of pivot, and even though, you know, I think we all brace ourselves because we know what that's going to be like, it's just incredible and the rewards that come out of that seeing churches rally and seeing people that have never been seen before say, oh my gosh, people know my name now and just man, it's so worth it. And so the flexibility is worth the payoff. It absolutely is. I love that, courtney. What about you?
Speaker 5:Well, 2023 was a transition year for myself as well, but to piggyback off of, like the staff appreciation I think that that is what I'm most proud of is the people that I get to call are my teammates and those that are helping do the work. And so Cody Christensen moved into the role of director and her ability to have poise intact and keep everything all organized and together, but she doesn't lose her compassion for the work or her compassion for the people that she's serving, and so that has been really. I'm just really proud of her and her growth and just to be able to be a part of the process with her. And then I have Robert and Linda on my team. I'm proud to call them teammates, proud to see the work that they are continuing to accomplish within our career readiness program.
Speaker 5:And then Mike Schottel just recently joined my team as the director of spiritual wellness, and I had to come to him on our first meeting. I was like Mike I just have to let you know I don't feel worthy to be your leader. I don't think that I have all of the answers to be able to tell you what's the right direction or the wrong direction, and just to let you know I am being vulnerable and I don't know if I am the right one to fully lead you, but I'm going to try and it was so sweet he's like there's no one else that I would rather be my leader.
Speaker 5:And so it's been just really great to have the teammates that I have and really proud of what they are doing as well. And then, on a professional note, I am really proud in 2023. We've been in contact with a local university and the work that TRM is doing is not just the work for today, but we are truly looking at generations from now. How do we change the trajectory, not just for the people in our care today, but for their children and their children's children.
Speaker 5:How do we do something different? And so the work with that local university is moving forward, with some ACE research that we were able to do internally and we're hopeful to get it published, and be on a national level to use to advocate for the people we serve.
Speaker 2:And you know, I think, with that too, it's just amazing that God would give us an opportunity or a platform like that to also help others, because there's going to be so many people that read that research and there's going to be so many people that are at the presentation for it and things, and even if they get a small idea based off of something that we're doing or why we are even looking at this, even if it just sparks their own curiosity to look at it, whether it's in their workforce or if it's a social service company or whatever, it's just incredible to see how God can use it to not only impact our area, but that it will impact others too. You know, there's just so much. We could even dive into numbers and I don't have them in front of me, but I know that we're looking at almost a doubling of just the amount of shelter nights that we had this past year. You know, we had 40, something thousand in 2022, and then last year we're at 72, I think, 74 thousand nights of shelter. So, meaning, you know, when we look at every individual that stayed at the rescue mission, how many nights they stayed, and we add them up and so there are drastic increases like that. We're looking at 30% increases with our foods that are being distributed I mean, it's just across the board and those are important and we just released those in the annual review. They're hitting people's mailboxes and so we don't at all take for granted what God accomplished here last year for that, and so I do want to mention being proud of those things, gratitude for those things, but we don't really focus on that either, because I don't want us to become an organization that is so stuck on statistics that we forget those statistics equal a story. Those statistics equal a person.
Speaker 2:It's not just about wow, you know, our shelter provided shelter for 72 or 74 thousand nights for people. It is. There were 1300 people that were in need of shelter and then in need of shelter for those many nights, and so we're going to still report on those. It's important, and we do, that. Miriam spent so much time desegregating that data. Each month People send it to her excellent organization for that. But also we don't just go around talking about it, because the glory goes to God for being able to provide all of that. But it also is important that we don't get caught up on only numbers, that those numbers represent people, anything else that we want to share about being proud of or thankful.
Speaker 2:Well, let's move into challenges. Oh, none of us had any, so let's just get that right. Keeping up with you, that's right. That's Christian's number one challenge is keeping up with me. Yep, you know, I'll start on this too.
Speaker 2:I would say that one of the biggest challenges that I faced as a leader was to know what battle is ours and what isn't. The Lord has called the rescue mission to stand planted, to plant seeds of hope and healing and love through the way Christ transforms us, and we don't expect or demand anyone to believe the way that we do, because that's not how the Lord operates. The Lord can touch people's hearts and people are receptive to that. So we don't force our beliefs on anyone, but we stand firm in saying we are individual people who are loved by the Lord and created in His image, and it is our mission to tell people of this love and of this forgiveness and of this mercy of this God, that the same God that loves us loves them. And that is not always well received, and I personally probably as a new executive you know it's hard to try to find the balance of how to advocate for what we're doing and our people and those that we serve and the reason why we do it, and finding the balance of that but then also not letting it distract me from our mission and also not let it take my joy from me where I want the Lord to radiate through me. I don't want our work to become a task, and that has been a challenge. You know, there in leadership you've got people that sing the praises of what you do and then you have people that lie and you have people that act ugly and those kinds of things. And knowing when it is my role to defend the rescue mission, when it isn't because we don't need to say anything because the Lord's our defender, that's been a challenge. I never want TRM to be in any type of bad talk or anything. We definitely aren't making homelessness worse and just some of those things that have been said. But I also know that I am called to love our adversaries in the same way that I'm called to love our supporters and so. But that's a challenge. It's a challenge to know how to navigate that. It's a challenge to kind of be a target of some things and sometimes to be the only person speaking out against what may be out there, and that's a challenge, I would also say professionally. It kind of mixes in with the same thing.
Speaker 2:I just look at what all we've faced and I think some of it has all been a challenge. We have seen an increase in the cost of supplies. We've seen because of inflation, we've seen an increase in the needs, which means then it's an increase in demands on us of what we need to do, what we need to provide. And when we look at this from the flesh point of view, I'm going, oh my goodness, I see so many challenges that we face as TRM every day. But as soon as I look at it that way, I also see a God who's saying I'm already there, I already knew you were going to be facing inflation. I already knew you were going to have a 50% increase in this. I already knew you were going to have a 30%. And he's meeting those needs.
Speaker 2:And some of us are saying we need to get through those needs and sometimes those needs are through our physical abilities, sometimes it's through donors, sometimes it is through protection. There's so many ways that he shows up. So lots of challenges. Homelessness is a political topic right now it's being discussed. We've had some false things said about us. I've had some false things said about me personally. It's time consuming, it can stuck your joy. All of those things can be challenges. But I also see that the challenge is a God that's saying I'm already fighting the battle or I've already won this one and you don't have to. Miriam, what would you say is a challenge, or some challenges that you faced or your teams faced, or that you saw TRM face?
Speaker 3:You know there's a lot to choose from on that front. But I think one of the biggest challenges we're facing is what is really our role? Right, Because there's so many things we could be involved in that would be appropriate. Right, that would be what we should do. But choosing to listen to what God wants to call us into, I think, is a challenge. Personally, I struggle with some of the things you just discussed. You know, in terms of this, looking at it from a business perspective and going, okay, how is this going to work? This isn't logical, it doesn't make sense. We're not going to have the resources and then recognizing that it's really not about us. This organization doesn't belong to any of us, and the Lord will bring the resources needed to do the work he wants us to do. But when I'm looking at financials, that then makes me go oh right.
Speaker 2:We. It's like a fine line between we want to be responsible, but we also have to be faithful and to trust in that, and that is not always easy.
Speaker 3:And you know, I sort of blame God for that because you know he could have given me, you know, the kind of brain that didn't worry. Yes, that was within his control, I know so.
Speaker 2:I, but you needed one flaw, Miriam One flaw.
Speaker 3:That's your only one and I just have one. I just have one, I think. The other challenge so that is a challenge for me this balance of what are business realities coupled with how do I just lay that at the feet of the Lord and know that he will do the right thing, he will bring to us what we need to do, the work he wants us to do, and that may not be in alignment with what I think we should be doing, and so I think that will be kind of a constant I think that's probably just a constant faith battle that there is. The other challenge I would say is just making sure that for me and my team, that I am giving them what they need to support them during really difficult times.
Speaker 3:Our teams all work really hard and I've got departments that are one person departments right. So how they don't have, they have a different. They have to seek camaraderie in a different way. Yes, right, because they're all alone. And how do I really support them? How do I help my team grow? I've been blessed with so many wonderful staff people that I've been able to now watch them grow and move into new positions, whether it's here within the mission or outside of the mission, and that is incredibly rewarding. But it does just present this constant challenge that I need to be pouring into them and I have the incredible honor to have people who are incredibly capable and sometimes it can. You can forget how much that they need support right, because they do it, they do well, they do all of that. But just kind of that challenge of being very intentional with letting them know that I am there for them, giving them what they need at the right time and just being really accessible to them when there seems to be so many other things that can occupy my time.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, it's kind of one of those things that sometimes, when people are just well oiled machines, we forget even just the power of words, of affirmation or an encouragement or an. I see you, I see what God, the talents and the gifts that God has given you, you know.
Speaker 3:And also giving them permission to say no, right. Giving them permission to protect their time, giving them permission to not let the job consume them to the point where it isn't enjoyable for them, right, you know, we all have cruddy days, right? Where, yeah, I'm not crazy about the things I'm doing today, but that shouldn't be most of the time. That should be the exception, not the rule. And so, really knowing, allowing people to know you can draw some boundaries, you know, just communicate them and we'll figure it out yes, and I kind of call that with you all tapping out.
Speaker 2:You know there are times where I want you all to know like you can tap out and tag me in or a tag a team member in same thing for myself you guys are so good about. Well, maybe it's not from a sweetheart, maybe it's just because y'all are tired of my attitude, but usually you're really good about saying you know, do you?
Speaker 3:need a day.
Speaker 2:I didn't tell her I didn't tell her, I didn't tell her, I didn't tell her.
Speaker 2:I didn't tell her no, but I'm just going to tell myself it's because y'all are the sweetest people on earth and you just worry about me. But seriously, you know, we have to do that and we have to realize that good things and even serving the Lord can become idols. They can become bad, they can become. You know, if we aren't staying connected to the vine and also pouring into ourselves spiritually of the Lord, nothing else can provide for us like that. So, yes, tapping out is something that is important and I'm glad to know that, even though it's not easy for any of us. Even like, looking at all three of you right now, you want me to do that, but then when I tell you all to do that, you're like no, it's okay, I've got it. Don't act like you know us.
Speaker 3:I do know y'all.
Speaker 2:I wish you all could see the little looks that we're all sharing with each other right now, but to know that we are so close enough now that when y'all tell me this, I'm like I better listen. And then, when I say it to y'all, you know she's gonna be relentless until I do this. So it works. It works with all of us and that's incredible for our teams. Challenges Like the next.
Speaker 5:Okay, I think the challenges is to not be consumed by the challenges, because there is an endless amount of challenges that we could list, but you mean as Christians, we don't just have rainbows and unicorns and we just that is nowhere in the world. No, that is what happened for any of us.
Speaker 2:It's not a proverbs.
Speaker 3:Christian Pretty sure, pretty sure not Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 5:I think that that is the challenge is to not be consumed by the challenges.
Speaker 5:It's so easy to see the work that needs to be done and to bury your head and the work for the good things Right, like this is for the Lord, and I am working to serve him and serve people, and then I forget to look up and then I forget to stay connected, and then my relationship with the Lord becomes the work that I do for him, and that is a terrible trade off for intimacy with him.
Speaker 5:And so how do we, as leaders, reflect that? Because if I can't be a reflection for what I want my teammates to be, then how can I expect them to do the same Right? And so knowing when to do the work and when the work is a good thing and we are called to do it, and then, when the Lord is like, you can't do the work without me, though, like, is the work actually going to come to fruition with the fruit that I want you to bear, if you're not even asking me about the work, if you're not even trying to stay connected with me, if you're not even praying about it? And so I think that that has been, for me personally, the biggest challenge to not equate my relationship with Jesus Christ as the work that I do for him or my name tagged to TRM and what I do for TRM, but that my relationship with Jesus is just Courtney and Jesus, and that is the most important thing. And when I lose sight of that, then that's when things can come really dark and then we're not being the leaders that we're called to be, because I'm looking at maybe good things that aren't the things that I'm supposed to be looking at.
Speaker 2:So that's so good. Just last night I'm gonna tell all myself, you know, it's just been a little fast and furious for a couple of months, maybe two years at the rescue mission, and then if Barry was here he would say 70 years. But last night I was like, oh, I could really just go home and try to rest a little bit, have some downtime. And very quickly I just felt like the Lord reminded me you did work for me today and now I need you to let me do work in you. And so instead of staying home and relaxing and there's nothing wrong with that I knew that that was my little nudge to get to church. And so I started a new Bible study at my church and it's Jen Wilkins and it's with creation. And I was so filled last night with just a reminder.
Speaker 2:One of her biggest focuses is there's a myth that the Bible is all about us. The Bible is all about God and learning as much as possible who he was, who he is and who he will continue to be, and that he's the only God. And when we start to grasp that, then we understand who we are because we're made in his image, and so we begin to tear off these layers, of realizing the things that are of us, that shouldn't be, because they're not of him, and the things that we should possess because they are of him and we don't possess. And so it was talking about light and dark, I mean just all of these things, and it just rejuvenated me and I thought I cannot continue to say that I'm working for the Lord if I'm not letting the Lord work in me, that I have to be a work in progress, just like everything else. And it's so contraire to kind of this belief of leaders right, because sometimes we have deemed strengthened leaders or effectiveness of how much they know, how much they can do.
Speaker 2:We do throw out a cliche every now and then be a lifelong learner, those kinds of things, and there's nothing wrong with that. But really, when we're talking about it from a spiritual stance, the best way that I can lead you all, the best way you can lead your teams, is to be led by the Lord. And that leading from the Lord means what in our life isn't great. It doesn't mean we don't have great things in our life. It means what is it? Identifying it and trying to get rid of it right, and working towards this healing, working towards all of that, and so I'm so glad that you said that, because I think I'm so guilty of that, courtney, that I think well, man, I prayed 20 times today, with all the meetings that I had, and all this, no, like that, cannot be substitute for me just going before the Lord and saying mold me, refine me, change me. There is beauty in that, and there's no level of leadership that, if you're a Christian that you should ever get at that you lose sight of that.
Speaker 3:And it has nothing to do with TRMR.
Speaker 2:It has nothing to do with TRM.
Speaker 3:And what we do here.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 3:That it is.
Speaker 2:It isn't about that. No, it's our journey as people like Miriam outside of. Deputy director of supportive services.
Speaker 3:It is just me and Jesus. Yes, what.
Speaker 2:Courtney was saying Last night in the Bible study too. I had never thought about it, but it was talking about how the story is God's and we are a snapshot and our snapshot might be 70 years. What do we want our snapshot to look like If we're blessed to be able to be on this earth? When we look at God's story and the little bitty pin mark that is Lomanda, if we zoom in on that little bitty pin mark, what do we want that to be? And that inspired my heart last night. It convicted my heart and kind of linked to worry, because I felt like God was like do you want your snapshot to be all about worrying if you're doing good enough for me? No, I want you to take the gifts that I've given you and you be a megaphone for me and who I am and everything I want to do to save people. But we miss out on that if we're not a work in progress.
Speaker 1:I think, what a lot of us have already mentioned. I think all three of you guys have mentioned this in a different way, but it's tension that plays the tune, and so you're, maryam, you're expressing your tension and, according to your expressing your tension, and I've got tensions inside of me that I work through on a daily basis.
Speaker 2:Even more when you don't have coffee. Hey, you said that earlier about me in my editor.
Speaker 1:You don't know me Ha ha, ha ha.
Speaker 1:But there's constant tension in this life. I'm finished with you say there was tension on Jesus and tension throughout all the leadership, throughout the Bible, and then even today. I mean there's kind of my realm here. I have to make difficult decisions that can have a huge impact on someone's immediate well-being in their life, and so I don't take any of those decisions lightly and, to be honest, I'm probably more inclined, outside of this context, just to give everybody what they want. But I can't do that and so I have to.
Speaker 1:I guess I have all these different things pulling, these different values that are pulling. I have the value for the person that's in front of me, I have the value for the organization, I have the value for the city and this community, and I have to make a decision on whether that individual is able to receive our services or, if they have, if they need a leave for whatever reason. And so every one of those decisions is made with tension and it's not made just from, you know, off the cuff and made light or made easy. Those are things that there's a lot of thought and there's a lot of prayer that goes into these decisions, and sometimes I'm not always certain I made the right one. So, just you know, we've had probably more refugees now in the last month than I've ever seen before coming through and I'm at capacity, my shoulders at capacity, with just individuals from our community.
Speaker 2:And over capacity? Yeah, several times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to the point where, like, we've had waiting lists.
Speaker 2:We've had overflow rooms.
Speaker 1:Overflow rooms and like, and so I've been in the situation of having this individual who came here with hopes and dreams that I'm sorry I can't necessarily assist you with moving to this community. So those are, you know, tensions and those are challenges. But you know I'm a guitar player and you know guitar is essentially a box with a wire that's drawn really tight over the top of it. In a hole In a hole.
Speaker 1:But it's the tension in the wire, you know, at the right, at the right tune or at the right tension, that creates the tune. The same thing with, you know, piano, or even if you wanna talk about our vocal chords. There's this tension on our those, the vocal flaps, that in the air passing through it, the tension plays the tune. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I love that. And then I also feel guilty because sometimes my tune is squeaking.
Speaker 1:Just yours.
Speaker 2:And then, well, I was hoping that y'all would all say, yep, we had that same problem too, bob. No, you know. But that is so true. And I think that kind of goes with just the worrying, and whether it's tension, worry, whatever it is. Are we using our talents, are we using our voice, are we using all of that to give the message of who God is? And that it doesn't mean that we're not talking about our tensions, it doesn't mean that we, you know, feel like everything is rainbow and unicorns all of the time, but that even in those moments where the strings could be squeaking, that then we know what will tune it and that it's the Lord, and he brings that back.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So one thing that I do want to kind of touch on because we hear this quite a bit is that we just choose not to let people in, and we do. Yeah, and that we're heartless with it, that we just are like nope, you're not gonna come in today.
Speaker 1:I'm probably not the best one to judge myself.
Speaker 2:I know. So I do wanna touch on this a little bit, because Christian mentioned he has some tough decisions to make sometimes and sometimes those are tied to your name. You know it could even be a neighbor on the street that well, christian won't let me come in, or Christian's this. But I want people listening right now to know Christian is a person. He is a person that every day has to discern choices as much as possible of what God is telling us to do, not just for the individual but the masses, and trying to navigate that, navigate safety, navigate second chances and third chances and fourth chances for people, because that's what we believe in, but then also saying, well, nope, there has to be some negative consequences because of this. It's not easy and I think I just want to show right now that you have a leader that is sitting here that says sometimes it weighs on him and he has to say is that the right decision? Is it not? Because we only are human?
Speaker 2:You have Miriam Crabill right here who when people look at her, they are going to talk about how professional she is and she is so efficient and effective and she is a strong leader and she just was honest with you that sometimes she just worries because she's not sure what to do in situations. And then you've got Courtney Barr. If you know her, she is beautiful inside and out, she's poised and she seems like everything is perfected. And she's telling you all I am a work in progress. I cannot be just what people see in me as TRM. I have to be a learner of the Lord and a daughter of the King first, and then myself. You've heard me say last year I fell a lot. Am I proud of those falls? Absolutely not. Nobody likes to have blemishes, nobody likes to have seasons in their life where it's hard. But we do.
Speaker 2:But despite that, so despite of needing to make tough decisions, despite being human, despite worry, despite knowing that it's not just all about who, we're helping, that sometimes we every day need to be helped by the Lord. We're being open with all of you, because sometimes I think that as a community we don't have enough time of being open, and to me I look at the three that I'm looking at right now and really five, if you include Josh and Kim, because they're in here too. But I'm so proud of them because they are truly trying to be the best example of who Christ is and what Christ is doing for them, even in their times of worry, even in their times of having to make hard decisions, even in their times of realizing their work, cannot replace them being a work in progress. And myself saying just because I'm a leader does not mean I'm going to be exempt from being able to make mistakes, or it's okay if Amanda has a tough day, it's okay if Amanda is exhausted and that I don't have any other expectations to rise up to other than what the Lord has had me do.
Speaker 2:And if there are times where we don't rise to that, we know that we are forgiven and we get to try again and we strive for that. And so I look at this team and I just think that you all are authentic, not because of perfections, but because of imperfections, knowing that the only way they can be even progressed is through the Lord. So, as we wrap up any God stories or anything that you just want to give God glory for in our time, as we wrap up, we started talking off our time of just giving God thanks for the protection, the provision, his sovereignty, but I also think we need to end with that. So anybody want to go?
Speaker 3:first? Sure I will, okay. So one of the things I love most about TRM is that God continues to surprise me. I get to have this honor of serving in a place where God shows up all the time. I don't have to really wonder, I just get to see Him be present with us all the time, all the time, and that is so incredible to me that he, that he loves us so much and has called us to this place, where he continues to show up and continues to allow me to be awestruck. That is awesome. That is awesome and something that I'm never, ever, capable of fully describing to someone else. It's an experience that has to just be had.
Speaker 2:And that's why I think we strive so much to say oh, we want you to be able to see this, we want you to experience it. It reminds me of Barry, too. He's mentioned so many times of the reason why he continued to say yes was because he didn't want to hear about what God was doing. He wanted to be that front row seat and to be a part of that. So I agree, christian, I've got a few I'll try to slim it down a little bit, it's okay Go ahead.
Speaker 1:You guys remember when the fire alarm went off in the main shelter Continuously, continuously for six hours. Oh yes, I forgot about that.
Speaker 2:Reminder of how bad hell will be that's exactly right, that's what it's going to sound like, for sure.
Speaker 1:Scampering around trying to figure out what's going on, how we can get this thing turned off like turn the power off to the building.
Speaker 5:That didn't work. It was like the sound that just kept sounding yeah.
Speaker 1:And then blew a breaker. Blew a breaker. We had to wait for weeks to come in Supply chain. Oh, it was a mess. But there was a young man at the time. He is a young Puerto Rican guy from New York and he'd been here for a while before he came to the rescue mission. But he was cool, as could be, but anyway he was having a hard time that day and so it was just like I want to go in my room. I'm like dude, it is loud in there, I don't care. I got to work and so we had a little bit of conflict there because I couldn't have anybody in the building at that time. Anyway, we had plenty of conflict with this young man, this individual, and there were different challenges pretty frequently. Very opinionated, very strong willed, and he would come up to the desk and would talk with Gail, gail Martin, one of our front desk members at the time. Now Miriam stole him from me and I'm only a little bit Lovingly stole him.
Speaker 1:You can say it however you want to.
Speaker 2:Where's the National Chocolate Day?
Speaker 1:happening. Right, where is it? Where's my coffee? So he would go up there and he would talk with Gail and guys would kind of like gravitate toward this particular staff member Because he was the first one to chew you out and the last one to leave you hanging and loved our men like they were his own sons. And so he would kind of, as he would come up to the desk, he'd be feeling out of the way for work. He would just be talking about how he wanted to be a social media star and all these different things. It was cool enough to be able to do it.
Speaker 1:But he ended up leaving, got a good job, got into a place, left here and probably several months later showed back up with a few suitcases. He's like I'm not here to stay, I just wanted to donate these things. And he said is Gail here? And I said, no, I'm sorry, gail's not here, I wasn't there, it was one of our other staff members.
Speaker 1:He said, well, I just want to let Gail know I saw Jesus in him and because of him I've got to know Jesus now, and just a hope and a joy and a peace that just was not there before had invaded and taken over his life, and so that was a lot of fun and just kind of a testimony to just the heart that our frontline staff members do this with and how those little interactions, day by day, and just pointing to our savior, can have a profound impact in transformation. He's doing well, he's got a great job, he's involved in a church and he's just in love with life and in love with Jesus, and that was something that I would not have expected when we were having the conflict in front of the main shelter.
Speaker 2:With the sounds of hell.
Speaker 1:With the sirens of hell blasting over throughout the building. But there was another individual who came this last year and he came in and had a pentagram around his neck and all different kind of satanic symbolism and just came in with a chip on his shoulder and he mentioned later that he thought we were going to be preaching at him constantly and we're going to just to be attacking him because of what he thought was right or because of his beliefs.
Speaker 1:But then he took it to an extent, to where he had set up a shrine on top of his dresser and was like freaking out, and he said, hey, you're not the only person in this room, which then he would wake up in the middle of the night and be yelling at his girlfriend over the phone Dude, people are trying to sleep here.
Speaker 2:You got roommates.
Speaker 1:And so we had conversations, friendly conversations, with him and he would come to the front desk and he would be mad about something hell, satan and just you know, slam, storm out the door and like whatever man. But he came in and there was one time he was meeting with John and was just wanting to complain about the rescue mission and he said, well, my tax dollars pay for this. And John's like no, they don't.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Well, I mean like this isn't taxpayer funded. What you mean? This is all like paid for by donations, and John's like uh-huh, yeah. And he's like, well, that's really cool, that's kind of neat. You guys do all this with donations, yeah.
Speaker 2:And grants Wow.
Speaker 1:And so just talking about the shelters and just some of those more internal programs, but he was um, so he was. It was like, well, that's kind of neat. When he ended up, we ended up being able to help him get into housing, and that was a road in itself and a journey itself. And then, as he was, you know, getting ready to move out, he was reflecting with John. And um, he was. He was sitting there and talked with John and he said you know, john, I thought, for sure, these people, these people are going to be out to get me. I was expecting this to be hell. And he said but really, this is being one of the most positive experiences in my life.
Speaker 1:Um, and just you know that he was saw something and saw a glimpse of a love that he had never experienced somewhere else, right, um, and that this little Christian organization is, you know, founded, you know, funded by, you know, generous and just a really caring community. Yes, um was able to make such an impact in his life and meet him where he was at, even when he, um, was coming at us with opposition. It kind of reminds me of verse, you know, believe it's in. Uh, leave this enrollments while we were enemies. You know, while we were enemies to Christ, that's when he died for us and that's when he laid himself down for us, Um, and so that that was uh. That was another fun God story and memory.
Speaker 1:And also um, I'm going to wrap this up because I got a couple of others that I think would be kind of fun, but um. I want to toot LeMaine's horn a little bit. Um, if you guys know me, I don't blow smoke, Um ever.
Speaker 2:I feel like we all need to say yeah, we know, um, yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, as you were talking earlier, we were shaking our hands. Yes, if they could only see us.
Speaker 1:Um, but as you were talking, I just wanted to highlight something. There's a quote by a man named, uh, craig Rochelle. He's a pastor and kind of a leadership guru, and, um, he says he makes a statement that people would rather follow a leader who's always real than one who's always right. Um, and so, lemaine, I want to just say, like, your authenticity is a strength, it's an asset, and you've taken on some big challenges and obstacles, and not all of them have been false, um, but you've done those things with grace and with humility and authenticity. You've kept it real and that's something that, um, one I really value about you. And, for anyone who's listening to this, you know we've got quite the leader in the helm, um, and so I just want to recognize that and honor that. You have a heart, that you want to do everything perfect and do everything right, and you do so many things amazingly well, and we're all back here trying to just keep up, except for Miriam. She does pretty well Sometimes.
Speaker 2:I have to keep up with her.
Speaker 1:Um, but I really value and appreciate your authenticity and I think that has trickled down to all of our employees and all of our staff, that you know, they, they keep it real. You know, I don't think. You know, I look at Jesus in the New Testament and I look at him in the gospels and then how he's referred to by the, those who who knew him, um, and I don't see a Jesus who was putting on a front, he was putting on a show or was actively suppressing. You know his true nature to be perfect. No, he was perfect and he was letting the beauty out. Now, as believers, I think that we have, you know, that spirit and the Holy spirit inside of us. Are we perfect? No, absolutely not. There is a flesh that's at work and you know it wants to take over whenever it can. There's that Holy spirit that's inside of us and that is beautiful. And so, amanda, you let that out.
Speaker 2:Well, Thank you, Josh. You were supposed to mute him because I was gonna try to do one more cast and not get emotional. Thank you, christian. You know, and it's an honor to be able to do what we get to do. It's not what we have to do, we get to do it, and God reminds me of that, sometimes through gentle nudges and then sometimes through a pricks, yeah, or a push. Oh, daughter, I need you to be reminded. This is my show and you have got to trust me. Thank you, christian Courtney.
Speaker 5:I think that a story that comes to me is one of our guests. Her name was Patricia and she came faithfully to we have different programming classes for guests that they're able to get into and she was coming faithfully to our trauma education classes and so she was learning about the rough stuff that she had experienced in life and then different ways to begin to recognize it and move forward. And so after eight weeks of coming to it, we give a little certification like a framed thing and handed it to her and took pictures and it was just a fun time together.
Speaker 5:And something that she said to us I think will always hopefully stick with me is she said you know what? I thought that it was too late for me. So Patricia was probably in her 60s, would be my assumption. She said I thought that it was too late for me. I thought that healing wasn't possible because I was too far gone. But this has showed me the next step to take. She didn't say that it has healed me. She didn't say that I'm all better and I'm, you know, everything's perfect. She said but I know the next step and that, to just reflect on Christian and when you talked about tension and a guitar, if you turn too tightly and twist it too tightly, eventually the string's gonna break right and we can't heal what we're unwilling to feel. And so if we go through life and we are unwilling to say nope, I don't feel that that string is broken and we don't recognize it or we don't look at it.
Speaker 5:Then are we ever allowing the Lord to come in and give us a new string, right? How do we, as Christians, recognize the unhealed parts, have courage to explore them with curiosity and then let the Lord truly come in? And I will say I am the star student of not feeling. That's so easy for me is to not feel it because then it doesn't hurt, right?
Speaker 5:And so for any of our listeners that is hurting and unwilling to feel the hurt, I would just challenge you to feel the things that are inside of you and invite the Lord into those spaces and let him heal what is there, because he is able and he is faithful, but he wants to be invited in right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're, our choir is singing a song on Sunday and two of the lines, two of the lines I can't shake out of my head, and one of them is that you can't walk on water if you're not willing to drown. And when I think about what you just said, this willingness to feel it is this willingness to drown so that we can then walk on water. Right, so you cannot walk on water if you're not willing to drown, I can't get it out of my head.
Speaker 2:It's a beautiful mess. It's a beautiful mess, you know. I cannot reiterate enough to our listeners. I don't know where you're at in life. I don't know if you're on a mountain top or if you're in a valley, or if you feel like you're drowning or if you feel like you are soaring. Um, but what I can tell you is that, regardless of what season you're in, god is unchanging. He is your anchor and he is the one that can do it all. He is the one that can humble you and your successes, he's the one that can lift you up when you have fallen.
Speaker 2:And I truly feel that there is a revival in our community that's going to take place, and this revival is not centered on everybody's showcasing successes. It's not everybody showcasing everything that is thriving. Those things are good, but I really think a revival is coming where more and more people are going to start talking about the difficulties of life, the difficulties of business, the difficulties of family, the difficulties of all of these things, and how we are not going to be perfect and that we don't excuse when we're not, but that we also don't have unrealistic expectations for one another, for ourselves, for us to realize that mental illness is legit and it does not discriminate. Mental illness is not just on the streets of Topeka or in Shawnee County. Mental illness is in your churches, mental illness is in your workplaces, it's in the hospitals, it is everywhere, and we have got to start being more real about challenges. But we can't just talk about the challenges. We also have to be willing to talk about the creator that knew we were going to face these challenges, and he has the answers for every challenge that there is.
Speaker 2:He did not promise that we wouldn't hurt, he didn't promise that there wouldn't be arrows thrown, but he did promise to always be with us and to never forsake us, and so I am so incredibly thankful for our team at the rescue mission, not because of everything, that is, the numbers, not because of everything that's accomplished. It is because we are human individuals. We're telling you that we struggle, we're telling you that we're imperfect, and we're telling you, though, that we have a joy inside of us and a hope that no one can take away from us, and it has nothing to do with TRM's work. It doesn't have anything to do with our positions or our identities. When you strap all of that away, it is that we have a God, who sees it all, cares for it all and controls it all. You can trust that.
Speaker 2:So, please, on this day, as you were listening, I don't know what you're facing. I don't know if it's good, if it's bad, if it's ugly, if it's harmful, but know that you have a creator that loves you and if you have fallen, that also means that you can have a setback in order to have a comeback, and we know that we have a father that is going to be there with you, whether it's in the comeback, the fall or the setback, whatever it is, he's there. I thank you, guys, as teammates, for helping lead this. It was a fantastic 2023. Fantastic not meaning pretty, meaning that we did it. We did it as a strong team and we didn't shy away from challenges, but we also didn't gloat in successes, and so it is an honor to be with each and every one of you. Thank you for listening today.
Speaker 2:Episode 207. That's mind-blowing 207. On this episode of Our Community, our Mission, if you like what you hear, please rate us, subscribe and share, and just please always remember the rescue mission isn't here to invoke our own beliefs. It is that we are just human people living out imperfections of this world, trying the best we can to serve a God who covers it all. God bless, congratulations you.