(DISCLAIMER: This episode is a very raw and unfiltered interview and as such contains some explicit language. Listener discretion is advised.)
Have you ever grasped the weight of a second chance, the kind that reshapes the very core of a human soul? Listen in as we visit with our special guest, George Cunningham, to hear his journey from the chilling grip of drug addiction and loneliness to the warm embrace of persistent compassion.
Our conversation traverses the rugged terrains of his life – from the horrors of war as a Marine, to the isolation of living in a tent, to his encounter with TRM's outreach team who saw beyond his circumstances to the man desperate for hope. As George's tale unfolds, we witness the birth of trust and friendship amidst the rubble of past betrayals, and celebrate his hard-fought victory through the potent combination of faith and support of others
This episode isn't just a chronicle of one man's redemption – it's an invitation to witness how love, faith, and a helping hand can illuminate the path from the darkest of places to a future brimming with possibility.
To learn more about TRM Ministries: Click Here!
To support TRM, Click Here!
(DISCLAIMER: This episode is a very raw and unfiltered interview and as such contains some explicit language. Listener discretion is advised.)
Have you ever grasped the weight of a second chance, the kind that reshapes the very core of a human soul? Listen in as we visit with our special guest, George Cunningham, to hear his journey from the chilling grip of drug addiction and loneliness to the warm embrace of persistent compassion.
Our conversation traverses the rugged terrains of his life – from the horrors of war as a Marine, to the isolation of living in a tent, to his encounter with TRM's outreach team who saw beyond his circumstances to the man desperate for hope. As George's tale unfolds, we witness the birth of trust and friendship amidst the rubble of past betrayals, and celebrate his hard-fought victory through the potent combination of faith and support of others
This episode isn't just a chronicle of one man's redemption – it's an invitation to witness how love, faith, and a helping hand can illuminate the path from the darkest of places to a future brimming with possibility.
To learn more about TRM Ministries: Click Here!
To support TRM, Click Here!
Hello and welcome to another episode of Our Community, our Mission. As a disclaimer, this episode is a very raw and unfiltered interview and as such, contains some explicit language. Listener discretion is advised. Heavenly Father, we thank you, lord, for this day and your blessings and provisions. God, thank you for God, just your redemptive work in all of our lives. Lord, pray your blessing over this conversation and this time, and Lord that ears that would hear it would be encouraged and blessed. Father, we love you and we praise your name, amen.
Speaker 2:Hello everybody listening to Our Community, Our Mission, a podcast of the Topeka Rescue Mission. This is Barry Fieker talking to you here on Wednesday, february 28th 2024, episode 211. Good morning Amanda. Good morning Maryam Good morning. Yeah, so you know this is a very special day. It is. It is why? Because tomorrow is what.
Speaker 3:Tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Tomorrow, tomorrow, you know, I think it's that quiz thing, I think it's the day that I've needed many, many years. And that would be Uh-huh. It's leap year, so I get an extra day to try to get all my stuff done, so so. So when there's a leap year and we have that extra day, which doesn't happen every year, so what's special about that day? What do you get to do More? Just get caught up. Exactly One more day for more stuff that you got to do Exactly.
Speaker 5:It's okay, that's right.
Speaker 4:And what about the people that have birthdays on leap year?
Speaker 3:That's so sad. That's really sad because it's what every four years? Yes, so you only have a birthday every four years.
Speaker 1:I guess they don't age as fast as we do. Yeah, what's nice about it is you're still young. Yeah, like you're.
Speaker 3:you know only age every four years. Exactly At this point I'm aging every four hours.
Speaker 2:Oh, there's so many things we could do with that, but that's not till tomorrow, but today being February 28th of 2024, it is a couple of really good days. I mean, it's recognized on this day because of things. Melinda, I think you like these things. It's uh-huh, now she's going to cheat.
Speaker 4:Let me look. Yeah, josh, why don't you give her the answers? Isn't it fun, the chocolate pieces.
Speaker 3:Is that what it is? The? Chocolate pieces right.
Speaker 4:What is that? Souffle Chocolate souffle.
Speaker 1:That's about that, right. Yeah, that's fancy, no, that's chocolate soup there, oh, got it Okay.
Speaker 2:So, of course, one of my favorite days, National Miriam.
Speaker 5:Pancake day.
Speaker 2:Pancake day, that's right. That's right, with chocolate souffle on top of the pancake.
Speaker 4:Oh, there you go. Do you really like? See, I'm more of a waffle person than pancakes.
Speaker 2:Well, you waffle sometimes. I just like to straight-flat, make it, you know, stack them, rack them.
Speaker 1:Anything I can put syrup on, I'm happy with.
Speaker 3:That's true. That's true. Yeah, it's really just a vehicle, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Well, what's also interesting? It's National Public Sleeping Day. Oh yeah, what is National Public Sleeping?
Speaker 4:Day. Well, Miriam, why do we not?
Speaker 5:I'd like to actually be doing it. I know why are we not acknowledging that huh.
Speaker 2:Well exactly, man. Grab a pillow and be prepared for that magical moment when you can doze off in public Now, some places, that's outlawed now because of ordinances.
Speaker 4:That's right, exactly. But they all go there right now.
Speaker 2:That's true, so maybe on this day it can be exempt right. Right Okay, all right, all right, and so one more special day about. Today it's National Inconvenience, yourself Day Inconvenience. That's a fun one, isn't it?
Speaker 4:Yeah, it shouldn't really be, as we live all the time though as. Christians yeah.
Speaker 3:Putting others first Inconvenience. Yes, Basically putting other people first and then things.
Speaker 2:Oh well okay, robust travels better, so I did that a lot. Coming in here today behind traffic, I inconvenienced myself by not doing what I wanted to do with the people in front of me.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 2:Did you?
Speaker 3:have some road rage? Almost no, it was.
Speaker 2:National Inconvenience Yourself Day. So today they get a bye. Thank goodness we're passing on that one. Yeah, so well. Anyway, we love to have on our community admission very special guests and we have a guest here today who probably about a year ago been very surprising that he'd be in our studio today talking to us. And Amanda, I know that you've introduced this individual to some people in the community and we got him to be able to come on the podcast here today and somebody that's very special to you, very special to all of us.
Speaker 2:And so, Amanda, just want to go right into it and like for you to introduce our special guest today.
Speaker 4:You know, I would like to start off by saying anytime I have someone who is just raw and authentic and vulnerable with their story, I'm pretty protective of that, and so sometimes it's really hard for us at the rescue mission and we try to do such a good job of what God is doing and communicating that and telling, but there's just sometimes that there are stories that we don't tell because they're about people and we want to build trust and we want people to know that what they tell us, you know we keep confidential and we don't want ever anybody to feel like we exploit them or use their story to benefit TRM, and so it's just kind of this fine line. But the other side that I struggle with is sometimes I can want to protect people too much that they are ready to share the change that God is doing in them and what they've already overcome and the struggles that they still have that they're trusting the Lord with. So my friend that we're going to be talking with today was an individual that our team met while he was living on the streets and it was not easy to build a relationship with him. He was guarded and he had been hurt before and there was just something about him that I feel like we need to pursue in everyone, where we're not just looking at what they're saying or what they're doing, that we really look at the why.
Speaker 4:And I have been blessed to have time and trust to get to know Mr George Cunningham, his story there's still parts of his story I'm learning and, because he's let me in to know a little bit of why he was struggling with some of the things that he's struggling with. I learned how to get my why back as a leader, because this past year has been so trying in the area of homelessness and it has become such a political topic versus people centered, and there has just been times where I thought my joy was going to be wiped out. And the individual sitting next to me and his honesty and his humor and his vulnerability and the change that I've seen him now is going to be something that is etched in my heart forever and I am reminded that his why matters and his why has become something that has motivated my why. So we have Mr George Cunningham.
Speaker 2:Well, george, welcome to our community, our mission. You know Amanda kind of talked in general about your story and obviously can hear in her voice how important you have been to her about her, why, I love her man and we know that and she loves you and we love you too. George, you spent kind of start back about your homelessness. How many years were you?
Speaker 5:homeless. I was homeless for maybe a couple of years and it all started when I was working for a guy. I had my own place. I was doing everything like every other human being does. I went to work for him because he had some houses that he needed fixed up and I'm a good carpenter. So I went and fixed these houses up and he got locked up. He was into some real crooked shit I didn't know about. So he was arrested and I went down and found out what his charters were.
Speaker 5:I was going to try to bond this guy out and once I heard the charters I walked out and I didn't want to mess with him, no more. So he wasn't paying me to fix the houses anymore. So I moved out. I had a broken down car at the time, no driver's license, and the cops were all me like crazy. I was getting pulled over in it all the time and getting tickets and I was eligible for a license, which I am not now because of it. And I drove a broken down car, steaming, smoking, rattling and banging down to the mission and I checked in and I had a little problem with authority and rules and regulations and all that and I didn't last long there.
Speaker 4:You mean, you're not always lovable?
Speaker 5:No.
Speaker 4:I'm not always lovable.
Speaker 5:Me neither I was lovable at the time of my life when I was very bitter and I hated the world. I felt like my country gave up on me. People I knew was stabbing it back, and when you turned around and see who was holding the knife, you just blew your way. You know so.
Speaker 2:When you say you felt like your country gave up on you, what do you mean?
Speaker 5:Well, it's kind of hard to explain, man. I mean it's like they just leave me to rot. You know, and I fought for this country and just for the better people sleeping here. You know, or you ain't got nobody coming in your town bombing and blowing up your houses and raping your women and killing your children and things like that, because war is a very terrible thing. And I've seen it firsthand.
Speaker 2:So, george, you served as the United States Marine? Yes, how many years?
Speaker 5:I was in eight years.
Speaker 2:Eight years and you were overseas and saw some very difficult things.
Speaker 5:Very difficult things. I had to do some very difficult things and which I'm not happy over and it's fucked my mind up bad.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 5:I have bad dreams and I just can't shake some of the things I had to do. But in there you're under orders and if you don't follow those orders you're in big, big trouble. They could shoot me right on the spot if I didn't If they ever, because you know what. I did it one time in there and they shot three of my friends and when that happened I just killed everything that was in front of my path.
Speaker 2:No questions, you know, I just so, George, you came it didn't bother me After some time overseas and your eight years in the Marine Corps is that when you ended up in Topeka.
Speaker 5:No, no, no, no. I didn't end up in Topeka. I went back home, where I came from, and I had a relationship with this woman and I was so fucked up at the time I screwed it up you know, and she left. And I would have left too if I was her. I was the one messed up guy.
Speaker 2:So you, somehow you ended up in Topeka campus and you were gonna work for someone.
Speaker 5:I was put in jail. As I ended up here, I met a woman in there. I was working the laundry and she slipped me a couple letters and I read them and she goes well, when you get out of here, I want you to come to Topeka where I live. And well, I did. And that didn't work out either, because she was a cheating ass bitch and I caught her in the act. I went a little bit ballistic and beat the shit out of her boyfriend and kicked her in the ass real hard with some real stilt-o boots and they locked me up in jail for it and I was in there for six months and they let me out. I didn't know nobody. I didn't know the town?
Speaker 5:I didn't know where I was going or anything I didn't know nothing about Topeka. And the guy said hey, man, I was starving to death too, I didn't have any money and it was in the summertime and I'm sweaty, and I just was laying up there by the filling station just waiting to die. Man, I just wanted to die. And a guy told me about Topeka Rescue Mission and I came down to Topeka Rescue Mission, I got signed in and when.
Speaker 5:I got in there. I just when I got inside, I looked around I said no, no, this is not for me, because I also served time in the penitentiary and that's what it seemed like to me at the time. It was like.
Speaker 5:I was back in there. I seen all the people and you had a child with 25 or 30 guys and who likes to do that? I don't, and I just didn't. I didn't like authority. I had a problem with authority and it seemed like they was always single on me out for some reason and I beat up a few people down there over it, reached across the counter and got choked a guy to death down there and they kicked me out for a year. So don't come back down here for a year. So I didn't. And during that year I just moseyed around and I finally got me a job because there's one thing I knew how to do and that was carpenter work and build pallets. So I've seen this pallet company. I went up there and talked to the guy and he hired me within 15 minutes after talking to me and I worked there for a very long time and it got my place and everything and I got to be real good friends with the foreman there and he said you know what man he goes.
Speaker 5:Why don't you just come out to my house and stay and ride with me to work every day and stuff? And I got a room out there. You can have your own room. So I agreed to it. And once I was there, I found some things out about this man and I went crazy and I beat the shit out of him too. I said you get in your truck and right now you take me right back where you found me, or I'm gonna rip the rest of your fucking head off.
Speaker 5:Come to find out he was a child molester, and I can't stand those type of people because that fucks the kid up all the rest of his life. You know, once you do something like that to a child and that's what he had done and when I found that out I just couldn't take it. Man, I'm gonna kill this motherfucker man.
Speaker 5:Bad and I damn your did and I stole his truck and took off and they caught me and put me back in jail again and I served time in jail again for that little incident and accumulated a couple of felonies with it and I got out and I just I tried to come into the mission. It was a year later or so. I tried to come back into the mission and by that time I was a alcoholic man bad, I mean, I couldn't maintain without having a drink in my hand. I shook, you know, I tremored the whole thing. And I met this man down there when I was there, when I went back in there, and his name was Joel and I remember him real well and he said I want somebody, I got somebody, I want you to meet.
Speaker 5:So he took me out to the laio and I didn't know nothing about it, what it was or anything, but this man came and I said man, this is a fucking treatment center. You brought me to a treatment center. I was pissed and mad and he goes just talk to the sky, you know. And I saw, I talked to him and and me and him came to an understanding that I was gonna get treatment for alcohol. So I went in there and I couldn't shake the alcohol man, so I had to go to store my bill and and they had to give me some pills and drugs and to get me out of it and it was.
Speaker 5:It was terrible man. I felt so bad.
Speaker 5:I threw up all the time and they had to feed me with a tube and and I was having real, real hard time with uh with, uh, with the detox is what it was about and uh, so I got through that and I went through a 30 day program, a 28 day program with the laio. Uh, I got to know the man that he's a counselor there. I got to know him real well, became friends and and I got out and I'd stayed off the alcohol for a long time and and I, uh, for some reason, oh well, I'm, I'm good, I could just have a beer. You know, be okay, I could not just have one beer. That one beer led me back to drinking it just as much as I did before you know, and, and I was an alcoholic for many, many, many years after that.
Speaker 5:I didn't care about nothing, man, I just wanted to. I ran out in front of the traffic try to get hit by a car. You know I was too chicken shit to jump off the bridge. You know I put a bullet in my head so because I know how that feels, I've been shot before and if you don't die from a bullet wound, you're an agony man. So I chickened me out on that. So I just would try to throw myself out in front of oncoming traffic hoping they would hit me, you know so during this time, george, were you living In housing, out of housing, on the whole house?
Speaker 5:and I was living on the streets, just walking around I didn't have no tan or anything like that just to close on my back and, uh, I found out different places where you can go. You know, get things like that. I found, let's help, for people that I met along the way had showed me these things, you know. So I took advantage of no saying that, I got myself some clothes, uh, I took a shower in the river, uh and uh, but just basically that's how it went. And then I became well, I Came to this place and I seen all these tents and things around. I said, well, that's what I need.
Speaker 5:So I got me one and I made a tent and I had some things that I accumulated along the way and and people would wait till I leave and then when I left, they would come in and steal my stuff. So that went on for a little while and I freaked out about that and I grabbed a couple guys up down there and beat the hell out of them with a, with a stick that I carved off of a tree and hurt them pretty bad, you know. But you know what? After that, nobody messed with my stuff and they's afraid to come by my campsite, because if they walked by my campsite and I was in it, they would go to the other side, because they know I would come out here and do something to them if they, if they, uh, I had to do that because I had to make an example out of somebody Don't mess with my stuff and don't come in my place when I'm not here.
Speaker 5:I will fucking kill you if I catch you in here without my permission. So it pretty well went like that. So I just mainly hermitage myself. You know, I stayed away from the people and stayed in my tent and uh, then I I befriended a couple guys around there and they was using drugs and I never Messed with. Bethan fell in me before in my lifetime you know and I got introduced to it.
Speaker 5:I took a hit off of a pipe one day and from that time on I was hooked on it. I stayed high for Out there for a couple of years, Got high every day. I did not miss one lick. I was high every day.
Speaker 2:How did you get your drugs, George?
Speaker 5:I would get scrap metal, or I'd take it away from somebody, I'd take the drugs from, and uh, even if we were going to get my ass kicked you might have kicked my ass, but I still got your drugs from you, you know. But I would take them from I'd get them down on the ground and take it.
Speaker 2:Some mouth had that much of a grip on you, you had to have it.
Speaker 5:It had it controlled my life, man. There's nothing else I could think of but that drug.
Speaker 4:So what did it do? Did it relax?
Speaker 5:you Did it it relaxed me and most people it does them. They're all speeding around, jumping around. That wasn't me.
Speaker 5:I was more relaxed and and uh, it's like I could be myself. But it wasn't myself, it was somebody else that I didn't like. When I finally realized, I weighed 155 pounds when I first started out there on that riverbank and by the time I was done I weighed 97 pounds and I went to a doctor's appointment one day because I'd had a heart attack and a damn you killed me, you know, and if it wasn't for a friend of mine, I'd probably dead today. But I went there and the first time I'd ever looked in a mirror in a year, over a year, I looked at myself and said, oh boy, you are bad, you're a bad looking man. And my, my clothes didn't fit me. Yeah, everything felt fit me like a sack. And uh, once I'd seen myself in that mirror, I said there's something you have to do, man.
Speaker 4:Uh why didn't you look at yourself in a mirror? Was it because you didn't have access to a mirror, or was it because you didn't want to a mirror?
Speaker 5:And and I didn't want to either, because I knew From the way my clothes fit me that I would lost a lot of weight. I didn't eat, didn't eat at all, I just smoked dope and, and that's all I wanted to do, you know.
Speaker 2:George, how long are we talking about how? How many years were you in this kind of situation?
Speaker 5:a couple at least two and I came into the mission uh once on my own and, uh, they found me with a methamphetamine pipe in my drawer and it was mine and it had dope in it and I was smoking it. I was smoking it in the building and when people were asleep I was up all night smoking smoking dope and somebody seen me, I guess you know told on me. They came in, uh, and he did me a favor. Actually he knew I knew this man for a long time when he was a heroin addict and I'd picked him up off the street before and took him home and Nursing back to health and got him off the dope and I felt like he'd kind of betrayed me at the time because he's seen the pipe in my drawer. And he said, george, get that shit out of here right now.
Speaker 5:So I got it out and I was sitting on my bed and they said you need to come up and do your analysis and this is random. I said, oh shit, this ain't no random. What happened? Who told on me? And uh, I won't say his name, but he come up, said George, I had to, man, I got a job to do here and I'm off drugs, and I want you off of them too you know, and One of these days you'll thank me for what I did and I did.
Speaker 5:I thank him because he did something for me that, uh, it was, it was. It was bad to me at the time. I wanted to beat the hell out of him and but I got my hands on him. I would have, but I didn't. And, uh, then I had. I put myself through Vallejo. Uh, oh, it's been six months ago Uh, no, been shorter than that but I got off the drug. I came into the mission and got off the drug and just just stayed in my room, didn't go anywhere, just stayed there Trying to, you know, go through the detox, you know, and I detoxed myself off of it and I but I felt really bad and I was irritated, my temper was high and uh, uh, I didn't want.
Speaker 5:No, you couldn't confront me with anything without me wanting to do something to you. I just wanted to be left alone. And uh, I went through Vallejo and got myself some treatment and I was clean for about three months before I went there and and it was another month why I was there, and I've been out several months now and and I'm still clean, and uh, but it's just that them drugs destroyed my health. Man, I'm not in really good health anymore because of it.
Speaker 2:George backing up a little bit. There was some attempts by some of the outreach teams to pick a rescue mission Vallejo TPD that, uh, the man does one of them.
Speaker 5:And uh, what's that? 100 blood-hundred woman's name?
Speaker 3:Haley.
Speaker 5:Haley and Haley and, and I was out there, man, in a tent and I thought I was ready to die anytime, and and they would always come and check on me and and see how I was, and and to me when that happened it's like, uh, something man. I mean they would ask me if I needed anything. I would told them no when I most desperately did, but what's still no, because uh, uh, it was my pride, man. I mean I didn't want anybody feeling sorry for me or anything I wanted. Uh, if they wanted to help me, they had to do it because they wanted to, not because they felt sorry for me.
Speaker 2:And uh, so, so obviously you've been betrayed a lot in your life. I have, and so here's these outreach workers that are coming out, even the guy that turned you into the mission, and what were you thinking when a lamanda and a Haley and some others came by the same thing.
Speaker 5:I thought they wanted something from me Mm-hmm and uh, apparently they didn't, they just wanted me to be okay, you know so. And once I realized that, I uh opened up to him a little bit and talked to him and and uh, uh, I don't know why the man to like me I would have never liked me, but uh, I was always up front and straight to the point, I cussed. You know, I was high when I talked to him. All the time I was always high and uh, but I, my mellow type high when I talked to these women, uh, I felt a little sense of peace, you know, and uh, that's, I don't know how to explain that I just felt, you know, something that you feel, and and, uh, I felt it, and and, uh, I embraced it. And they came to me a lot of times in the winter when I was freezing my ass off.
Speaker 5:I was so cold, I, I was crying because I was so cold, and they came and, and, you know, give me gloves, and and give me food and ask if I needed anything, which I would say no, but Uh, they got me out of the tent, they got me away from the environment I was in, and uh, I came into the mission and and uh, I surrendered myself to the Lord Jesus Christ. Man, sorry, something I ain't never, ever done. You know, I didn't believe in him. I didn't believe it because you know why would he let me be in this situation if he was all so fucking mighty and shit, right? So I know I did do that and uh, since I have, uh, I was, I don't know why, but they hired me here to work in the kitchen. Well, I, I'm doing it now, and uh, I do pray, and and I gave myself to Jesus Christ and and uh, something I ain't never done, because I didn't believe in him.
Speaker 2:Man, what's that mean to you, george, that you've given your life to Jesus? Huh, what's that mean to you now?
Speaker 5:what it means to me now is uh, good things has happened, uh, and he's the only one could be responsible for, because it's unexplainable man, you know, it's something that, uh, it's something that you feel and you know, and I know as know it's. I know he's responsible for it because Any other human being could never pull me from where I was at. You know, I gave up on life man and, uh, I got a new outlook on it. Now I got a job, I'm making money, I'm cleaning sober and I got good friends. Uh, I can count on my friends on one hand and not fill it up, but the ones that I do have, I trust them completely, you know, and she's one of them and, uh, and I'm glad I have her in my life man, you know.
Speaker 5:George, there's a wonderful person.
Speaker 2:I really appreciate you being so open and transparent about about how you were feeling and where you are now. There was a period of time, it sounds like that they were bringing you things to your homeless encampment. You were saying no, but you still needed them. Do you remember when you began to feel like you could trust them? And and and why did you? Make a decision to come into the mission. Well, they kept coming back.
Speaker 5:You know, they didn't give up on me.
Speaker 4:You couldn't get rid of us.
Speaker 5:I couldn't get rid of them for shit. After a while. I just, you know certain things you feel, and you sure tried, I did and and I, I felt them and I began to trust her and, and uh, because I, she's my friend man. I've never had a female friend ever in my life without some hanky-panky going on you know, and she. She's the only woman friend I've ever had in my life and I love her man.
Speaker 2:And, as you are listening to George, this is pretty hard for you in a good way. You know, sometimes there's things that are hard, that are not good, and then there's things that are hard, that are really good, amanda don't ask me anything.
Speaker 4:I can't get it together.
Speaker 2:We've got to fill in some blanks on your end of this year, so obviously, um, trm, and you mentioned at the beginning of this, of this podcast, about your why and and the people that God has put in your life and George being one of those, and whether they're being sheltered or they're out in the streets, these are important whys to you. That's why you do what you do, right. And so talk a little bit about George. Um, he's he's one of many um who has been um struggling in life and and and and and. Numerous ones are veterans who've served our country, um struggling with um rejections and horrible things that happened in their life and and um in reacting to that. And they're in the streets and they're not always the most pleasant people sometimes to uh to be around. But what, what? What about George? What was? What was not different, necessarily, but but uh, there was a connection here, um, and you kept going back to see George. Why, I don't know why.
Speaker 4:You know, I think the only thing I can really think is the Holy Spirit. Um, outreach is a part of my job that I love and I do it regularly, you know, monthly, but it's not something that at the executive level that I get to do near as often as what I want. Um, but I think, you know, our team had gone out a couple of times before the the cold weather had hit and I just had this feeling that George was just so misunderstood that it wasn't, it was just that people didn't understand him. And so then, fast forward to the December of 2022, I was consumed and I think consumed as a good word that I didn't want to lose anyone and have their life ended because of the bad weather and those kinds of things. And so for hours in those days, we were tracking where everybody was who had come into our warming center, who didn't, and George had. He was just on many of our hearts because he was hunkered down and he was going to wait it out and he was hell bent on not accessing help. And when some of them were just a personnel, you know we're talking to him about. You know he might not survive it. He was ready for that and I am just other people of the team we weren't ready for his life to end and so, probably because we had been so annoying, he finally decided okay, I'm going to come in. And he didn't like the warming center. You know it's a congregate setting and it's hard, but at least I knew I had even said if he's just there two hours, at least I know he's warm, maybe he'll drink something, eat something, anyways. And then after that I didn't know any of his story, but there was just something where I knew that he just needed people to surround him, like I've needed when I've been in dark places and when I haven't been lovable and when I've been in my brokenness.
Speaker 4:And so those next several months, you know, I would go out at least once a month and drive along the river and stuff with Haley. And there were times where George really didn't want to talk and then that kind of turned into. He would come out and he would talk a little bit. Then I was finding out he just beat somebody up. And I remember one of the times he was telling me that and I said, george, I don't want you to feel like you have to hurt people so that you don't have to worry about hurting.
Speaker 4:And he told me I didn't understand, which I don't. I've never been on the streets like that. And so then I told him that he didn't understand my love for him because it was hard for me to get in that ATV and leave him every time. No, it's not, you don't care, I do care. So fast forward. Then it was around May or June and we were doing an outreach and he just shared with me a little bit about him being a veteran and that he had done bad stuff. And I told him we've all done bad stuff, we're all sinners. Sin is sin. He said no, you don't understand.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 4:I said no, you don't understand. There is a God who. There is nothing that you have done that will separate you. Salvation is the key, though, and so then it became a joke of he said I could get to heaven. He couldn't, and I said no, but I'm not going to heaven until I know you're getting there, and then it was just kind of lighthearted stuff, and then that conversation turned into it was August or September, and he let me know a little bit more of a story, and he told me one day now I believe that I can get to heaven, but I don't want to, because he was scared, and so I said well, I don't want to be in heaven without you. So you got to get it together, we got to figure this out.
Speaker 5:That gave me the green light to go. Man. You know, right there, it was a subject to me, Because there are certain things that a man has done that I think is unforgivable, and I could tell you something that I've done. Have you ever cut a man's throat? Looking straight in the eye and cut his throat? Well, I have, and I have done it. And sometimes when I get mad, I'm afraid to hurt somebody because I got a tendency to grab you by the neck and snap it. You know, even if I have to get on your back to do it, you know, but I mean, I get so angry and just something takes over. You know that you can't control and I'm trained to do that to kill you, I'm afraid I would. If I'd have stayed out there any longer, I would have killed somebody. You know, plain and simple.
Speaker 4:I would have killed them. You know, one of the things that I knew was I don't care what he did, what he hasn't done, whether it's his fault or not his fault, but coming out of being a Marine, I just thought so many times we failed him, because I've been able to walk in freedom and this man has been captive every night with his thoughts and his worries and trauma, and so I remember talking to him about okay, you know. He said well, I do meth. Okay, well, it's not good that you do meth, but that's still not going to keep you from the Lord, it's still not going to keep me from coming back here. Well, I cuss people out. I hate people with sticks.
Speaker 4:I have and I'm like okay, go ahead go ahead, and what I saw happen was when he knew that there was nothing that he could tell me, that was going to shake me. He was either going to be annoyed or he was going to love me and I was just so grateful.
Speaker 4:And so I remember almost begging him and saying George, please don't do another winter out here. Promise me that you'll come in the shelter. And he wouldn't promise me. And I said why? And I'm like begging him and holding onto his arm. And he said because I care about you and I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. And it's not just all about me having to earn respect with our neighbors, it's two-way and I hold them accountable because I want them to be someone that I can trust and do. And half the time I think I'm probably safer walking on the river than I am in the prominent part of Topeka.
Speaker 5:If I was out there, you would be.
Speaker 4:And so that just kind of turned into me realizing he cared and he didn't promise me he was going to come in. And then I get a text message in November and they said, hey, we have a George cutting him that has registered and he really wants you to know. And I was elated.
Speaker 2:George, you said you're still a work in progress in Sir Wee. I want to ask you about something that you was given to you, that you want LeManda to have, but I want to ask you a question before that. George, this is a new life for you. Now Things are much different. They're still in the progress of being different. What are your hopes now? What are your dreams?
Speaker 5:George Wee. One of my dreams is well, it's not a dream, I don't dream about good things. One of my hopes is that I'm able to just be human, be able to drive a car again, to have my own place again, my own things. Maybe find me I got my eye on her, but she's probably more safe than I, am more fucked up than me. But to have a loving relationship with a woman and just do the damn thing, man, Get everything together. We have a kid before I die or something. I don't have much longer to go. I know that I just want to do some things before I go. Darrell Bock.
Speaker 2:So you've come to an awareness that you do matter, whether or not you believe it or not. You saw other people that believed in you, and you understood that God believes in you too. George Wee, george Wee, I do. Darrell Bock, that's got to be a pretty big switch for you.
Speaker 5:George Wee Darrell Bock. A switch for me, man, I mean, from going to I don't give a fuck about you to I do. Now I've cared to learn about, to care about other people and put somebody before myself. George.
Speaker 2:Wee Darrell Bock. What do you hope for people, george, who are either in the home, the shelter now, or on the streets? What do you hope for them?
Speaker 5:George Wee, I want them to do what I'm doing. Man, I've never forgot where I came from and I've never gone to. There's a lot of people out there like me you know, and the society, as a quote rather, is against them. You know, they think they can't change and they don't. They're not given the chance like I've got. You know.
Speaker 5:But if they was given the chance like I got, you see better people you know, and they're just, they're just, you know, one of those people that are just lost in the shuffle. Man and people out there die you know people dying out there, Darrell.
Speaker 2:Bock, I'm sure that there's Maryam. There's a lot of people like you and I are right now just listening and don't really have a whole lot to say, because this is so compelling of a story that is right here in front of us. Maryam, what does this mean to you?
Speaker 3:Maryam. You know, it's just so amazing to listen to George and to hear his heart and his journey, and to hear Amanda and to know that the thing that worked was love. Darrell Bock.
Speaker 2:It really does work, doesn't it?
Speaker 3:Maryam Love? Yeah, absolutely. And that to hear you say, george, that you know the Lord loves you, that's just kind of Darrell Bock. Yeah, and that's remarkable, and it just, it's just testament to why we do what we do and that we don't give up on people.
Speaker 5:Darrell Bock. I don't go to church or anything like that, but it still doesn't change how I believe in God and his Son Maryam. Love yeah, darrell Bock, and now his Son died for me and I'm willing to die for him if I have to.
Speaker 3:Maryam.
Speaker 2:Love, yeah, darrell Bock. George, God gave the world a very precious gift in his Son, jesus Christ, and you know that now. Maryam Love, yes, he did. Darrell Bock, somebody gave you something pretty precious as well a number of years ago for your service in combat military. Do you want to talk about that gift that was given to you and what you've decided?
Speaker 5:to do with it. Maryam Love, it wasn't a gift.
Speaker 2:Darrell Bock, something you earned rather than.
Speaker 5:Maryam Love something I earned, or however they thought I earned it, but I wouldn't. I don't think anybody would have done what I've done. You know, instead of getting in trouble, they put a medal on me and I've got two of them. My mother has one and I had one for her and it was my purple heart that I had and I lost it. I wanted to give it to her. So bad because Darrell Bock Give it to her. Who Maryam Love Amanda. I wanted her to have it, darrell.
Speaker 2:Bock why?
Speaker 5:Maryam Love, because she's special to me and I never want to forget her and I know long as she had that medal, she'd never forget me you know so. I wanted to pin it on her dress. You know, Darrell.
Speaker 2:Bock, I would think that a purple heart is. It's very rare that people get those.
Speaker 5:Maryam Love, it's rare.
Speaker 2:Darrell Bock. Yeah, it's rare. You can Google that and find out that not everybody gets one of those and that's a pretty important recognition for your service and the suffering that you went through and to give it to another human being your mother and now Amanda that's saying a lot, but you know, it sounds like it's very much in concert with the gift that was given to you in Christ something very important to God, his son and you know, if all of us would just think about what you have said here today and how transformational this is for you and it's so transformational that it's not just like, oh well, that happened, that's cool. You're wanting to walk it out, including giving something away that's very precious to you as well, Maryam.
Speaker 5:Love, yeah, I just I wanted her to have it.
Speaker 2:Darrell Bock. Amanda, what's that mean to you? Since you're already crying, I might as well go ahead and show it. Maryam Love.
Speaker 4:I know seriously, you know we're 14 months past the warming center where that really kind of showed George was starting to trust us a little bit. You know that he would come into our environment and kind of lose some control, and control was huge for him because of safety, and so I could look at it as you know, that George was somebody on the streets that cussed because he was awful or he was violent or I could put all of these labels and stigmas on him. But when you take the time to get to know why and then you realize, oh, he's doing that to defend his territory, he's doing that because he's been hurt himself. It's just a different perspective and that's what I'm called to do. And you know I'm embarrassed to say it's not easy for me because I'm stubborn and, as Hal Smith once said, a force to be reckoned with. It's not easy for me to lose sight of my love for people and my joy, because it's like who God made me to be. But these last few months have exhausted me beyond measure because I was advocating for people and a cause that so much. There is such an emphasis on just throwing them aside. So is it amazing to me that George would give me his purple heart that he earned Absolutely, and I'm not sure that there's a bigger Complement than that. And I told him we would get it ordered and it is something that I will Cherish forever and will be in my office. But I got to tell you that Just as important to me is what he's doing, that he's allowing me to walk alongside him.
Speaker 4:It's still the messy parts of his life. You know, you can't just fix everything all at once, and we knew the first thing that he needed to get under control was the alcohol use and the drug use. Then it's what else do then? Do we want to do Medical care? Do we want to start doing therapy? Do we want to start working on the PTSD? You can't just Throw everything at a person and say fix it. And so the fact that George has overcome some of the obstacles and met some of his goals, that is so precious to me that he's let me be a small part of that story. But I also love that he still tells me the stuff that He'll often say I suck at it and he'll tell me whatever it is keeping his calm or whatever. But I love that he still trusts me with that and I hope that I still prove to him that I love him, regardless if he's still sucking at that, because there's gonna be a day that he sucks less at that.
Speaker 4:And the role of Myself and the rescue mission Is To not just be a part of something that gives you the warm and fuzzies. It's the stuff that keeps you awake at night or frustrates you or Worries you, and so the Purple Heart is so honoring to me. But Just as honoring to me is just his level of friendship that he's willing to do a podcast that he's willing to present with me. He just shared a story in person the other day from a platform with me, and Just that he would know that my heart is right in trying to Promote his story so that we can reach others. And then I would say, lastly, so that I can get it together, yesterday my pastor, tim Collins, made a statement that I think will forever shape my time at the rescue mission.
Speaker 4:You know, oftentimes we say that we're wanting to win people over into the kingdom because we recognize that it doesn't matter if it's meth or alcohol, what it is. Those things are trying to alter the person so that the person loses hope, and you know that it's a spiral. So we're constantly talking about it, the rescue mission that we're wanting to Win people over to Christ so that when they do die they have an eternity in heaven. But pastor Tim said something yesterday and he said I'm just going to ask you all, whether it's in your personal life or your professional life, are you making it hard for people in Topeka to go to hell, or are you making it easy? And I just thought, when we are Dedicated to however long it's going to take transformation, and when we do what we say we're going to do, and when we don't preach at some, I never preached at George.
Speaker 4:I never told him what Christian music to listen to. I never told him to go read his Bible. I Didn't tell him that, told him the gospel in a very practical way. And I just kind of laugh at myself because I think I was making it hard for George to go to hell. But now, now George is doing that and his story it's not that he's perfect and it's not that it's roses, but just like that Joel was for him. Now George is going to make it hard for someone to be a Methodic. George is going to make it hard for someone to be an alcoholic. George is going to make it hard for someone to feel Hopeless or helpless, because now he's been changed and is in the process of changing and he can bring people to Christ in a way that I never could, and I Am forever thankful for George.
Speaker 2:Yes and amen, George's. Any last thing that you would like to say before we close the program?
Speaker 5:to Know. It's not what I want to say, it's what I want and I Want to use my friendship with her to get me there because, uh, not, not like that, I don't mean it like that, but if she can help me in any kind of way, make my time shorter to get it, and I, that's what I want to do. I want to do what she's doing and you can. I want to be in the outreach program, so I want to be Okay, but my boss says I can't do it until I'm there nine months.
Speaker 2:George, thank you for being here today and thank you for sharing your story with us. Amanda, thank you for enduring and being able to stay in the in the room here with us, as difficult as this has been, but also good, and Thank you for your why Not being compromised and not not giving up on George's and many, many others. Thank you for listening to our community, our mission.
Speaker 2:You've heard a very transparent and raw broadcast here today. If you've listened to it from the beginning, all the way to the end, it's a beautiful story. It is about a beautiful God who loves beautifully and uses us in our humanity, in our imperfections, in unique ways to do what Jesus said to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourself. There is opportunity for you to love as well and also be loved, because God's got a plan, even though maybe today you don't see it, whether you are walking the walk that George has or you're walking the walk that Amanda is, and and so thank you for being a part of listening to, once again, our community, our mission and the wonderful things that God does.