Our Community, Our Mission
Our Community, Our Mission
Ep #269 – Crucified with Christ, Alive in Freedom: Meet Edward Tucker
In this episode of Our Community, Our Mission, we explore what true transformation looks like through the powerful story of Edward Tucker. Once trapped in 30-years of drug addiction—even while pastoring—Edward longed for freedom but couldn’t break free on his own. Everything changed with a quiet nudge from God on a city bus: “Go to the mission.” That simple act of obedience marked the beginning of a new life. Today, Edward works at the Men’s Side Front Desk, serves in chapel, and offers honest, compassionate support to men walking the same road he once did.
Edward’s authenticity makes his ministry uniquely impactful—he doesn't just speak about recovery; he’s lived it. TRM CEO La Manda Cunningham highlights his ability to see past addiction and connect with the person behind the pain. His favorite verse, Galatians 2:20, captures his new identity: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." This episode is a powerful reminder that no one is beyond redemption—and that surrender is the first step toward true freedom.
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Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you, lord, for this day and your blessings and provisions. God, thank you for this time and, lord, just that we can communicate the amazing stories and work that you're doing here. Lord, we thank you for these opportunities and our listeners, and Lord, just pray your blessing over them in this time. In Jesus' name, we pray, amen.
Speaker 2:Hello everybody, thank you for joining us on Our Community, our Mission, a podcast of the Topeka Rescue Mission. I'm Barry Feeker, your host today, here with Lamanda Cunningham, ceo of the Topeka Rescue Mission. Marion Crable, deputy Director of Supportive Services.
Speaker 3:Good morning ladies, good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2:Did you get your boat to come in today here?
Speaker 4:on Tuesday, June the 3rd. Yeah, and I had to paddle like crazy. Yes, my arms are a little sore from all of that rowing. I'm about to sit out the jet ski.
Speaker 3:Well, the river's up, so you can come right on in and get around.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're getting some good rain and it's been quite a spring, so we want to jump right in. Today we have a very special guest I think is going to be really engaging, so stay tuned with us. We have a couple of big updates. I think A couple of big updates. I think that one is LaManda Miriam. You guys just got back from Arizona from a conference, an annual conference with the CityGate Network. We've heard about CityGate Network before. We've actually talked to some CEOs and some different people from the CityGate here on our community, our mission, but you got to see a whole bunch of them together there, and so what's that like? What happened this time?
Speaker 4:Well, you know, barry, each year I think there's just no way that it's going to be as powerful as it was last year. And each year I am dead wrong. Because it is just amazing when you have 1,200 people in the room that all love Jesus, that all are focused on helping people who live on the margins, people who are struggling, people who others may not see. Stuff just happens, and it is remarkable. It is remarkable.
Speaker 2:You get. You get around people who maybe don't do it exactly like they do it in Topeka, but there is this commonality there of serving the Lord in regards to reaching out to those who suffer, those who may be homeless, hungry, a lot of different things. City years ago, where they were just graduating their 12th grade of children K through 12, from their high school or their school that they started there for kids who could not afford to go to private school from the inner city.
Speaker 2:And they were having this graduating class. I'm going to say wow that's amazing. I mean, that's a rescue mission doing that plus all the other stuff that they were doing. Amanda, you've been pretty involved with CityGate ever since you've been the CEO of Topeka Rescue Mission, to say the least, an emerging leaders program. Did you see some emerging leaders there this time?
Speaker 3:Yes, we actually had three different sessions for the emerging leaders that were set aside in addition to the track sessions that they do and in addition to the general sessions. We had three different ones and the lowest amount we had in one of them was 65. So between 65 and 85 came to each of those three sessions. I believe they said they had 200 and something registered as emerging leaders and I get asked all the time well, what is emerging leaders?
Speaker 3:And I'm like yes, we've been saying 40 ish or younger, and yeah, well, I had several come to me lower.
Speaker 2:Now you've bumped it up. Why have you done that?
Speaker 3:Because everybody is looking for a place to belong, is the true one.
Speaker 3:The other one is I keep approaching 40 closer and closer and so, yeah, there's a, there's a seriousness to that and there's a laughter to that one. But you know one thing that I noticed that was different this year, barry and I'm kind of excited, you know, we'll devote another podcast to unpacking our time, and Scott with our distribution center went, marcus with our facilities and maintenance went, and so I'm excited to hear their perspectives as well. But one of the things that I noticed I can't even remember I think it was the first night, maybe second night they had Jordan, my co-leader, and I of the emerging leaders come up and just give this kind of brief overview.
Speaker 3:Jordan's from another city, virginia, yeah, percival and just kind of talk to the whole 1200 crowd about what we're doing and the importance of emerging leaders. And one of the things that I had mentioned was and hopefully I said it more delicately than I think it's coming out right now but basically I spoke to the leaders that are looking at retiring or are looking at transitioning out of this and I asked them to be helpful to us and basically said I don't know about y'all, but I want all of this work to continue until Jesus comes back, and if so, then that means the leaders that are leaving need to leave well, and part of that is passing the batons to us. And then I said but then that, our new leaders, I want us to do that well and not act like we know everything, because we don't, but yet walk in courage and bravery because we are facing some really, really big hardships right now. That being said, I had several people and I appreciated it so much come up to me as I was walking through the facility. Some of them even came to the Emerging Leader Sessions and admitted in a joking way but said I'm not your 40-ish, I'm older, but I'm willing to come in and if I can present. During one of your sessions I had one woman come up and she said if you know of anybody that needs a mentor, I'm willing to do it. So technically the group is this 40 ish or younger, and you don't necessarily even have to be in a leadership position. If you're aspiring to do that, you can.
Speaker 3:But this year was my first year that I had people that are not considered in that emerging leaders group come to me and say I want to be a part of it somehow, and one of the women.
Speaker 3:I'm excited I haven't even been able to share with Miriam, but she's done this fun spin on finance to teach her staff members the value of a dollar, what that looks like if we put it in the hands of someone experiencing homelessness, but then also tied to us being wise stewards of resources when we get them. So she came to me and she said you know I'm kind of like an HR person, but a fun one for finance, and she goes and don't ask me my age because I'm not younger than 40. And I just laughed and I said, okay. So there was this willingness of the people that are emerging saying we want to be sponges and we want to soak in the knowledge of people that have done this, and this was the first year that I saw people who do have the experience, do have the knowledge, really showcasing a willingness to say, yep, we'll take you guys under our wings. So that's exciting.
Speaker 2:It really is. I mean, that's how we grow, we learn. You get a chance to learn from other rescue ministries around the North America, the United States and Canada to be able to see what they're doing and then be able to share. A number of things have benefited other rescue ministries because of what's going on in Topeka, so it's a back and forth and so those relationships you can't beat them.
Speaker 3:And it's caused us to well, I mean for several months. Well, I think leaders in general are reflective, right, we're always looking at what we're doing and if you're in ministry, making sure it's aligned to what God's asked you to do, and all of that. But in the last six months, I would say TRM is really positioning itself to question what is next for TRM. What are these specific departments look like? What are the things that we have historically done that we need to continue because they're biblically foundational for us, and how do we keep that the forefront and the focus? But I also think we're at an exciting time in all of our departments to say what do we need to do different? Because the definition of insanity is doing everything how you've always done it and expect a different result.
Speaker 3:If we are seeing different demographics, different types of struggles on the streets and in our shelters, different needs that people are coming to us with, it might be a time for us to pivot some things where departments look different than what it has, and so that I think for some, whether it's internally or externally, can be scary because not everybody does well with change, but it can also be an exciting thing as long as our hearts are aligned with the Lord, we're following him. Who's better of a guide than the Lord? And so I think TRM has positioned itself to really be analyzing what the community needs from that 30,000 foot view, and I think in the next coming months we're going to see some changes coming internally for TRM that we hope will continue to bring the gospel to the community that so desperately needs it, but also could maybe meet needs better in a way that we've not been able to do before.
Speaker 2:That's a pretty good drum roll up to something that's coming, that's right. But you're not going to talk about that yet are you Not coming? And you know why? Because we don't know yet we're still trusting the Lord with it.
Speaker 3:But we do have a vision casting with leadership and our board in the next 45 days or so, and so we're excited to really be looking at what we're doing well, what we need to improve on, and doing it from the perspective of realizing our community matters to the Lord. This is not the TRM show and we don't want to be doing things just because it's what we do at TRM. We want to continue to serve the community like we have been, but also strengthen any areas that we need to Do you see some similar conversations going on around the country with some of the other rescue ministries, Because things are changing in different ways, different communities but there's some commonality.
Speaker 3:So are other rescue mission leadership talking about pivoting, really having some momentum, moving forward and working collaboratively, unified on some things, and so then some of the rescue missions are able to not need to do certain things that they have been, because other partners are now going to be doing those parts. So it's kind of that working smarter, not harder. And so I saw some pivots. For that, uh, I did see some rescue missions needing to pivot because of the economy, the cost of things increasing, um, donations kind of being stagnant or decreasing, because everybody's just feeling it right now Grocery costs, gas costs, job issues, those kinds of things. Um, and then we saw, uh, some rescue missions that it's really not anything to do with their community guiding it, but that they're just going to take some risk on things that they think their community needs. And really some rescue missions that are walking out on faith, not because of it all being data driven, not because it's all, because they feel like the Lord is asking them whether that is being food rescuers. That was a topic. What's a food?
Speaker 2:rescuer.
Speaker 3:Some of the rescue missions were talking about how they have analyzed and began to partner with other groups to see the amount of food waste that happens in the United States particularly. And so, in a time where food costs are increasing, people that were able to do food drives or donate food to us is decreasing because people are needing to supply their own homes with foods. It's caused some of the rescue missions to say we are going to be full throttle partnering with restaurants, businesses, grocery stores at the local level with restaurants, businesses, grocery stores at the local level and really changing their operations, times, staffing, types of box trucks, all of that to say we're going to be going all around our community and any restaurant or store that would be throwing anything out or anything, we're willing to go grab those and rescue the food and then distribute to food banks and churches and and and right.
Speaker 2:The thing is, the Topeka rescue mission is rescuing people off the streets, having a place for them to go, those who are hungry rescuing them. So they're not hungry, but you sometimes have to rescue the resource to be able to get it here, to be able to do the job Correct, and so if it's getting thrown away, still good. Leveraging those escalating costs of groceries today, why should it go in the dumpster when it can actually feed somebody? That's a rescue. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3:And you know I spoke with another rescue mission in Arizona that basically in some of their departments they have been able to double staff. And they did that because they are watching both the national trends and the state trends for Arizona with homelessness and it's not decreasing. And so they knew in order to continue to serve at the rate they were, they were going to have to increase capacity. And so I said, well, what's the budget implications on that? Like, how do you just do that? In four years, multiple departments they have doubled, going from eight staff to 16, going from four staff to eight.
Speaker 3:And she said we did it simultaneously with our donor relation. We had to make sure that it was a robust donor relations and for the first time they entered into fundraising and so getting sponsorships one of their biggest sponsorships, she said, came from a gas station and they signed them on and they signed them as a business partner for three years. So because they could guarantee that money, then they could guarantee additional staff and because of data, that's how they then made decisions on where they doubled the staff. So there is a lot of changes and revisions with a lot of rescue missions right now. I think historically we've always had to be flexible, right, you can't do any of this without that. But there is something right now where there is a newness and it's just time to take some risks A little bit of a newness and a bit of an urgency with some of the different needs that we see.
Speaker 2:So, as you pivot and yet to be determined what that's going to look like, because you're still discerning that, meeting with the board and the staff and trying to determine what that's going to be there's some things that won't change and that is the love for God, the love for the neighbor, glorifying the Lord, all those kind of things part of rescue mission and also financial accountability.
Speaker 2:And so, miriam, you're in a fun time as director of supportive services, which is over finance, and so talk about what happens every year and what you're entering into right now, You're so good at this. Miriam.
Speaker 4:You're so good at this. That's why I'm making her feel really good about all this. I'm trying to just remember that verse about consider it all joy, that's right.
Speaker 2:So financial accountability stewardship has been a non-negotiable for Topeka Rescue Mission for a very, very long time and will always be that way, so that the donor knows that they can have confidence that every dollar is going to stretch as far as it can and there's going to be an accounting for every dollar. So, miriam, you get to be in charge of that particular and there's something called an audit and it's coming.
Speaker 4:Actually it's here, it's, it's not just coming.
Speaker 4:It's actually here. But you know, barry, I think the thing is the thing to remember too. It's not just about stretching dollars. It's about making sure that dollars are invested very wisely, confidence that we are taking care of the dollars and using them as best we possibly can to meet the needs that are coming at us and need our attention the most right. They will support us in different kind of ways, and the audit is just one way we do that. You know, this is a third party that comes in and looks at every piece Independent.
Speaker 2:Independent, oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Yes, this is not staff. This is an outside organization that comes in that looks at every piece of our accounting process.
Speaker 2:They're not your best friends.
Speaker 4:No, they are friendly.
Speaker 2:They're not here to be your best friend.
Speaker 4:They're here to find out. They're not here to be my best friend. That's exactly right.
Speaker 2:They're here to see if there's any issues, exactly my best friend.
Speaker 4:They're here to see if there's any issues, exactly Any problems, and they will address those and it involves everything from our resource development department, because they look at all of our donations, donations that are designated to specific things. Are we spending it in those specific ways? Are we making sure that our board is aware of everything that we do? Are we sure that we're documenting each of our grants in the way that we're supposed to and doing our reporting? So it is a very in-depth, very in-depth assessment of how we handle our financials. So, yes, it's happening. She's smiling.
Speaker 4:That's because it hasn't quite started and we're not two weeks into it.
Speaker 2:Well, if you know, if you know there's, it will change every year because they're going to look for something different every year. And um, and so the the point of all of it is is there any potholes or landmines in the financial stewardship of any organization? And Topeka rescue mission has been very blessed for some time now to have some higher ratings nationally in regards to its financial stewardship. Absolutely.
Speaker 4:And and just you know, the board is really looking for us and the community and our donors are looking for us to have a clean audit where there's no findings that would cause people of any kind of concern. Sometimes there's process things that if we can just tweak this process a little bit more, but, um, we've always had clean audits, um, so the goal is that that happened again as we look at 2020.
Speaker 2:And they've been very helpful sometimes when people are questioning, because people do question. There, unfortunately, are business practices that are not correct in both for-profit and non-profit, and so we don't want to be one of those.
Speaker 4:No, we do not.
Speaker 2:We're not going to be one of those or we'll close her down. And so when you have a question, because there's reasons to question, you can say, okay, here's an independent audit, this is what they say, so that's good stuff. So some things won't change in regards to, maybe, what will change, but we don't know what will change other than what Amanda said get ready for a change, but we don't know what that is yet. But that's okay. That's part of the privilege of the CEO to be able to stir people up and get them ready for something Ready, set hold. So, in the process of that, still sheltering, still feeding, still loving on people and it takes really awesome people to be able to do that and so we have a guest today who is one of those awesome guys. He is so excited about being here today. I want to tell you, edward Tucker, welcome to our community, our mission. You got quite a story and you work the front desk on the men's side, and how long have you been at Topeka Rescue Mission?
Speaker 5:In three days it'll be two years I've been working here.
Speaker 2:Been working here. So we all have a story. We all have a story about our whole life, right, and we have a story. Those that are Jesus followers. We have a story about that and how we came to Christ. And then we have a story about that and how we came to Christ. And then we have a story that intersects with that how we came to Topeka Rescue Mission. So you're involved on Topeka Rescue Mission hasn't always been as a staff member, so talk about whatever you want to talk about. So we get to know Edward Tucker, Because what I hear about you is you're just an awesome guy, it's because you just met me.
Speaker 2:Oh, I've seen you around. I've seen you around. I've heard about you, so talk about your journey to where you are today.
Speaker 5:Okay, Well, first of all, thank y'all for inviting me and allowing me to come. I appreciate it. It is exciting here at the mission. I came here June the 6th of 23. I was born and raised in Pine Bluff, Arkansas.
Speaker 3:That's why I love him. He's from Arkansas.
Speaker 2:Well, that disqualifies you now.
Speaker 3:Woo pig, woo pig.
Speaker 5:So I moved to Topeka in 2014 after living in Kansas City, missouri for about 30 years. My pastor came here so I was going through some things there drug addiction so I came here and I had to leave and go down to see my mom and when I came back, the Lord had already spoke to my heart. When I was coming back On that bus was go to the mission. And this is where my whole life changed. My whole life changed. My whole life changed and it changed because I obeyed what I heard.
Speaker 5:I got off that bus up on 6th Street about 5 something in the evening Brett and Ricky was working the front desk. I got off the bus and I didn't make no U-turn to go to no dope house no, nothing. And I have a make no U-turn to go to nowhere no dope house, no, nothing. And I have a wife here now, okay, and I wasn't even going home. God was ready for me to change and I got off that bus and I started walking and I knew where the mission was because we used to come here and hand out food on the side.
Speaker 5:With your church? Yes, okay, back in the day. And so I just came on down and I got food on the side With your church yes, okay, back in the day. And so I just came on down and I got here on the 6th of June. I was going out every day looking for work and about two weeks Krishna seen me in the hallway and said have John Roberts talk to you? And I said no, sir, and I said what did I do? Because I, you know, hey, that doesn't.
Speaker 4:And you and I said no sir.
Speaker 5:And I said what'd I do? Cause I? And he was like no, it's all good, we just wanted to ask you a few questions. So uh, john caught up with me late on that day and uh asked me would I be interested in working at the front desk? And I was like yeah, because I was tired of running out in that hot sun every day and looking for some work.
Speaker 5:So yeah, I can sleep here and work here. Okay, so at that point I must have started probably about the 25th of June, started working, so that was a blessing and I've been here ever since. But 30 years, right at 30 years of smoking crack was my addiction crack, cocaine, and because I was obedient to God. Man, I thank God for that. It's not like I didn't know God, I knew God, but I didn't know God, you know, because I was raised up in church, so I had an understanding a bit of who God was.
Speaker 2:So you were involved with the church. You were actually doing some outreach through your church, but you at the same time had a cocaine addiction.
Speaker 5:Had a cocaine addiction. Okay.
Speaker 2:I think that's pretty important for people to understand that just because you're in a church doesn't mean that everything's working out perfect in your life. It doesn't mean that there are going to be problems Right. It doesn't mean that you won't have an addiction.
Speaker 4:That's right.
Speaker 2:So before you go on, what kind of a conflict was that for you to hear the word of God, to know that there's maybe a better way, but you couldn't quite get there.
Speaker 5:I couldn't and it would tear me up and what it did? It put me in that position to want to. I wanted to stop, but I didn't have the power or the ability to stop. And one was because of the people that I was still hanging out with. Even though I was hanging out with church folks, I was kind of like the parable of the lost coin I was in the house but I was lost. But then I was like the sheep. I was out of the house too and I was lost. But God came and rescued me at TRM. So and and and, the most important part of this to me was because I heard his voice and I followed his voice and I did what he said. And because of that obedience, my life, my life, actually changed. And you know how.
Speaker 5:I know that I've been delivered Because I can handle my money, I can handle I got a vehicle. I don't run all over town. I only do what I gotta do go to church, go to the store, go to the doctor, come to work. And it was back in the day when I had all those things, I could not stay sober, I couldn't stay off that dope. As soon as I got a car I was heading to the dope man. Now I look and do those things I wrote right by the dope house all the time, I'm sure somewhere right I don't know what it is now because I don't look for that kind of stuff but I don't have that desire to want to do any of that stuff anymore and that's why I said I know I've been crucified with Christ. I know Christ has delivered me. I know he has set me free.
Speaker 5:Can't, nobody changed that? And people will still try to hold you in the same position that they used to know you as and they still want you to act. And they do that because they hate that you've been delivered, because they like being your caretaker, they like feeling like they was above you, they like feeling like they better than you. But now I got some haters behind this. I got some haters behind this, but I got Jesus on my side, yeah, so no weapon formed against me can prosper. Are you sure about this? Oh, I'm positive. I'm positive. I walk in the light and you know what's good about it. I seek him every single day. You know, since I've been well, watch this. Let me share something y'all might not know. Even when I was in my addiction. I was pastoring the church. I know even when.
Speaker 2:I was in my addiction. I was pastoring the church. Okay, so you were pastoring, Crazy.
Speaker 5:Crazy, Absolutely crazy. Some folks say God's going to strike you down. You know why he didn't? Because he loved me and he had a plan for my life. So that's why.
Speaker 2:How could you pastor and also be addicted?
Speaker 5:Oh my God, it was toe up from the flow up, talk about it. But it was his grace that kept me because I still studied and prepared for Sundays and I think during that time the addiction was really fading away. But I still had issues going on in the marriage and with finances that you know. I still wanted that crutch. It was still depressing times. I'd be like I'm going to go get me one.
Speaker 2:You know, was there conflict at that time in your between? Here I'm in the pulpit talking to people how to be free in Jesus, and yet I'm not free in Jesus.
Speaker 5:Right. So, and I can't really justify that, because what really I say, uh, my life was changing at that time and I didn't really realize it because I wasn't getting high that much no, no, what I mean I wasn't using like I was using, uh, maybe every three or four months I might sneak out.
Speaker 2:Okay, so it was kind of fading away, it sneak out. Okay, so it was kind of fading away. It was, it was, yes, it was vanishing, and I didn't even realize it, I wasn't having that strong desire, but I was still stuck.
Speaker 5:Okay, you weren't having the same desire, but you were still stuck. Yes, stuck, how stuck in. Just cause I became. That addiction is so crazy.
Speaker 5:I looked at a book. I was, uh, one time I was in treatment and they had this book about the love affair between drugs. But this particular book was the love affair between crack and the user and how. In every part of this book and I hate I lost that book but every part of that book had just like when you're in a relationship with someone else, that's how they framed it and wrote this book out.
Speaker 5:So it was like different phases in a relationship. You would have that same phase in with this drug, but as I got, god was drawing me all the time and I really didn't see it or recognize it, but I knew I wanted to stop. All those years I wanted to stop and never had the power to stop. You know, and, and, and now I still think about it I'd be like Lord, forgive me for you know, trying to teach and preaching, and still caught up in the world. You know, even though and this is how we people try to justify we feel like, well, I don't do it that much, no more. No, I shouldn't be doing this at all. I know we don't get perfect, but I know we should be maturing, because that's what that word meant there be perfect as a father's perfect. But I need to be maturing.
Speaker 5:And I was maturing but I didn't realize it. God was really pulling me out and the final act and stage of that was when I had went home. I was in in time bluff for like three months and then I came on back because my mama got better and I know I could have went home. But God, I mean, this is like when I got on that bus, it was like the whole ride back for those 9, 10, 12 hours, whatever it was. It was like go to the mission, go to the mission, go to the mission, go to the mission. Why do you think the mission.
Speaker 2:What else were you hearing from the Lord in regards to go to the mission? Was there something that you thought might be here, knew, was here heard about here? Any of that, or just go to the mission, just go to the mission.
Speaker 5:I can't recall nothing else. And when I got off that bus my feet turned this way, turned north, and I headed on down here with one backpack, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you're standing at the front door? Yeah, you've been riding nine hours.
Speaker 5:You have 30 years.
Speaker 2:Or longer. Okay, 30 years in addiction? Yes, you've been in conflict, to say the least. Yes, with this, maybe it wasn't as bad, but it ain't over yet, right, so go to the mission. Did you get a fullness of understanding when you're standing at that front door? When I go through there, are things going to be okay or not?
Speaker 5:No, I didn't. I thought you know, with all the conflict going on at home, just go somewhere where you can try to get it together without the extra pressure, without all that anxiety, Because when you're in a relationship and you're married like that, they know your behaviors and sometimes they don't be willing to let those behaviors go. You know even right now, but life's still lifin'.
Speaker 4:But I got a new life.
Speaker 2:So you stepped through the front door. You knew you were supposed to go to the mission. Any music start playing in the air.
Speaker 5:No music, no music. It was crowded.
Speaker 2:Did you wonder, did I really hear? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:When you walked in that door.
Speaker 2:Like, okay, wait a minute, Hold on, you're going to be in a room with a whole bunch of other smelly feet and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5:There it is. You said it. You said it. That's it God did. I really hear you say that. I know right. I'm like but I found myself okay with that. I just it was. I can't explain it, I just know it wasn't me.
Speaker 2:I know it wasn't me. Were you tempted to say I got to get out of here and go get that fix? Nope, it was one step of obedience to the next step, to the next step. Yes, yes.
Speaker 5:And immediately I started, I got a Bible and I started. Matter of fact, I came back with a Bible. So I just kind of started trying to rededicate my life. You know whatever that meant at the time. I know it meant not getting high. I know it meant not going to those places seeking those things out that I used to do. I knew that and I had a sense of comfort and peace. The challenge was going out in the heat every day, dark as I am, that sun was kicking.
Speaker 4:Yes, you better hear me.
Speaker 5:I've been looking for shade Out on that bus stop. It take a whole hour for the bus to come back. I'm like what in the world? This is crazy. And then I got Mick as a counselor. You got to go look for a job. Man, I'm trying to get a job.
Speaker 2:You're motivated to get a job. But there were some barriers and I think you know, just to pause on that a minute. A lot of people don't understand, just because you are looking for a job, that you're going to be able to get a job if you don't have a place to be, if you don't have a phone that people can call you at, if you do not have shade when you're in the sun, regardless of what your skin color is, you can get really hot out there and some of us burn.
Speaker 5:Or if you're already burning, you burn more.
Speaker 2:So there's a lot of obstacles to getting back on your feet. So the mission came in and here you are, but it was okay. Was there something at the Topeka Rescue Mission that you saw as a tool or just obeying and being here? Was there a class or was there?
Speaker 5:something I did, some classes and life skills but I think it was just more about just obeying. You know, those things helped me because I knew those things actually I might not have been doing them. I'm 59 years old, so it ain me because I knew those things. Actually I might not been doing them. I'm 59 years old, so it ain't like I don't know.
Speaker 2:But comes that point of the old song trust and obey, because there ain't no other way.
Speaker 5:I like that. I'm all on to that.
Speaker 2:I inserted the word ain't in there.
Speaker 5:And that's true. So my motivation was just, you know, one foot in front of the other, doing what I had to do each and every day. And even during that time, I was seeing people that was drinking and out on the side doing what they do, but it didn't bother me about that, I'm just here, to try to see what God's to get me out of, and he brought me out clean.
Speaker 5:How long now? Uh, almost two years straight. I mean no drink, no, nothing, and and, and here's the thing. Um, uh, in my household these issues are going on, but I don't participate you know, why not?
Speaker 5:Because that's not me. Again, I've been delivered, so I had to move out, just because the unnecessariness of that life ain't for me. So, yeah, and I've been man. It's probably the first time in probably 30-some years that I've lived by myself, you see, and I'm managing it. It was scary, it was fearful, because I've been with somebody for you know, not the same person, but just I've been with somebody for life like that. Now I'm on my own by myself, and that was the fearful part, because I should have been gone, but fear was like. But when I look at that man versus that narcissist behavior and who I am, no, I can't do it.
Speaker 2:So you live on your own? Yes, you come back to the rescue mission. What does it feel like? You're out living on your own, but you come into the rescue mission to work. What makes this place?
Speaker 5:to you. That helps me, because when I talk to these guys and sometimes they think I'm being hard, but I give them the truth, because you can't live on a lie and I can't pacify you because you're grown, I'm going to love you, but we're not going to pacify you and you need to know the truth, because what is happening is we don't tell them the truth and we want to act like, well, we love you, we go no, no, hold on. Give them the truth, because what you're doing right now is going to kill you if you don't hear the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Speaker 2:So was your story part of helping that person to maybe see that? Oh, yes, so you're going to say I didn't just read about this, right?
Speaker 5:I lived it. Yeah, I live it and I get to do this every other Friday because I do chapel there every other Friday and, thanks be to God, nothing I do. But I mean they be looking forward to that. Get a little crowd up in there. If I ain't careful, I have to watch myself. I ain't all that.
Speaker 5:Okay, I'm country boy, I ain't all that, but I get to share that and I get to share it with the word of God and show them what God can do. So my main things that I talk about on those nights when I do it, is salvation prayer and then just learning to have fellowship with Christ on a day-to-day basis. I try to give them things that they can hold on through the week and those tools that will help them, and I let them know all the time your life ain't over because you're a TRM. It's just getting started and God got you here for a purpose and for a reason. You're not just here on your own. Whatever you was doing got you here, but it was all in God's plan. Now you just got to let him work, get your hand off the wheel and just sit back and do what you're supposed to do. Just that simple.
Speaker 2:What kind of feedback do you get for some of these guys when they hear that?
Speaker 5:Man, you always getting on me about something, well, stop doing it.
Speaker 2:You're here because you was doing that there. Anybody come up to you and said thanks, yet oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, here's the good part, though, they're coming to your chapel service. That's the one thing.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you know, some of them will be like man or they'll go tell me man, he said this, he said that and Mick said well, what did you do? But I don't want to go with fear in that because it's cameras all over the place or whatever I said. They probably can hear it anyway. But I'm going to give you the truth, where you like that or not. They gave me the truth and finally I got through and it got through me.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it'll set you free every time. But the problem is, we don't like the truth, because the truth hurts, and we'd rather stay in that denial and continue to do what we're doing, and that's what got you here.
Speaker 2:I asked you before we started what your favorite scripture was, and you popped it right off.
Speaker 5:So tell us about your favorite scripture Galatians 2 and 20. For I've been crucified with Christ. It's no longer I that live, but Christ that lives in me, the Christ that I live in. And I paraphrased that last part, but that first part is my favorite part I live in the body by faith.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what does that mean to you? I've been crucified with Christ. I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. What does that mean to you?
Speaker 5:That means to me. I walk on it now and maybe not in. There are areas I'm still working on. I get a little attitude sometimes but I'm not perfect. I do that. I tell them, like they tell me. Well, god knows my heart and I tell them, and your heart gonna sing you to hell too. He sure do know your heart. He gonna judge you according to your heart, because it's wicked. He's working on me. But I do know I've been crucified. I know that I'm dying daily. I'm dying daily and once I'm willing to die in those areas that's still trying to control me the closer I get to him. So what drives out that flesh is fellowship with him every single day, being intentional about spending time with Christ. That's in prayer, that's being quiet. Stop begging and talking about this and that. Ask him to deliver me. Keep me delivered, heal my mind.
Speaker 2:So where you were before, it was at a distance. This Christ, I mean, you were preaching in the pulpit and you were talking about him. But talking about him and walking with him, two different things. Two different things, and that's hard for a lot of people because that only comes by faith.
Speaker 5:That's right, because we can talk that noise all day. But people are looking at your actions, looking at your moves, you know, yeah, and that's the problem with the church. Now A lot of folks say, well, yeah, I've seen them doing this, I've seen them doing that, and they probably did. But the church is a hospital too, and it's for sick folks, and I was sick, you know, like all us. And so, uh, you know, today I want to walk the same, the same talk that I talk. Yes, I don't let them look different, I try to keep them in line. And that, and and and, and. That's the same thing I do at work, I do at home, I, I, I try to live with integrity, I live with it. I actually do. And here's the kicker If I think I want to do something wrong, the Holy Spirit will be like don't do that, you know better. So that kind of helps him bag down and say okay.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, because you're going to get tempted.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you're right, the battle just started. Yeah, because?
Speaker 2:you're right, right, right, the battle just started. Yeah, yeah, because you're gonna remember, maybe, that good feel yeah, cocaine addiction of 30 years and uh, man, just one more time. Yeah, and you know, but there's a war there, but you know where to take the war yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5:And you know, uh, that's what paul talks about in in roman seven. You know that that constant conflict between good and evil, and and I'm thankful because god has so much mercy and grace on me that I don't have to struggle in that area, with that addiction no more. I mean, it's like he just just boosh.
Speaker 2:So there's going to be people listening to this either today, on June the 3rd, or maybe a year from now or sometime, and they're going to hear your story and they're going to say I need that kind of help Now. We could have a whole lot of people come to the rescue mission because of this. What would you say? Where they are right now? The rescue mission wasn't necessarily the magic bullet that got you on the right path. Right your obedience to coming to the rescue mission with what the Lord told you, the rest of the mission with what the Lord told you. But what would you say to somebody who's struggling right now in whatever addiction or doubt or suffering that they are going through right now? What would you say to somebody not knowing their story Because we all got a story what would you say to them that might encourage them? Trust God.
Speaker 5:Trust God.
Speaker 2:How do I trust God? Trust God, how do I?
Speaker 5:trust God, surrender. Here we go back to surrendering and obedience. That's the only way.
Speaker 2:What if I don't know if I believe in God?
Speaker 5:Ooh, okay, well, oh, wow, that's a good one. What if I don't know? If I believe in God?
Speaker 2:There's some people that just absolutely don't believe in God. Don't believe, right, they're going to be agnostic, atheist or whatever they label themselves. There's some people that maybe I don't know if I believe in God. What would you say? Because here you are in a pulpit. Yeah, here you are addicted. Did you ever question if God was real during that time?
Speaker 5:No, during that time. No, you didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I just probably because I was raised in church and just so that was already breaded in me. Okay, there's something greater than me is out there, okay.
Speaker 2:And it's God. Maybe you don't have an answer for this. Yeah, somebody, who I mean, because this has been your experience.
Speaker 5:God's always been there, way some form. I just didn't quite know how to connect Right. Okay, but I will say this if you don't believe in God and you're an atheist or of that nature, then give it a try. Give it a try. How would you give it a try? Just by surrendering?
Speaker 2:say okay, lord, I don't see you, just in case you're there.
Speaker 5:Yeah, just in case you're there. I don't see you. I never heard from you, but manifest yourself in my life.
Speaker 4:And you know, barry, I think sometimes it isn't about what we tell people. It's about what we show them, you know, and how we share our lives, and the miserable things that we've done and what, how our lives have changed and that I couldn't have done it on my own. So there must be and, and I think showing people the Lord sometimes is better than telling them.
Speaker 2:Probably most of the time.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:A little hard on a podcast to show it is.
Speaker 4:It is a little bit hard on the podcast to show it, but still, you know, you people, I think, and you are so spot on when you say people watch us. You know, I think, ed, you are so spot on when you say people watch us when we claim to know Jesus, then they watch, Okay. So what is different? And I think we've talked about it so many times here that people walk into the mission and they feel something different.
Speaker 5:They may not recognize it as the Lord, but that's what they see. Let me say this too is the Lord, but that's what they see. Let me say this too. So it was like that my first Saturday, or my second Saturday there.
Speaker 4:I met LaManda and you stayed.
Speaker 5:She was with the motorcycle gang. Oh, okay, Hi. I'm Miramit. She didn't know me, I didn't know her and I did not know she ran this place. So I was coming out the door and she stopped me and asked me. I didn't know her and I did not know she ran this place. So I was coming out the door and she stopped me and asked me was I going to ride? And I was like no, black folks don't do much of that, Don't do them two wheels, hey.
Speaker 2:I'm with you there.
Speaker 5:Keep me off that.
Speaker 2:I was like no, I'll stay with the four wheels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:She was like no no, no, we ain't doing that. That ain't for us, no.
Speaker 3:And I said oh, come on, don't be a scaredy cat, Just get on one.
Speaker 2:Did she think you were the gang at that time?
Speaker 5:Motorcycle gang, hey. And so I think I shared with her why I don't. Because I had a friend one time when we was younger that had a ninja when they first came out and he tried to get me on the back end. So God was in my life, been in my life all the time, because we was at a party and he hopped off and he was like, hey, man, hop on, come on. And we went to the party drinking and I almost got on that motorcycle with him and I didn't. I was heading to it and I didn't. So I said no, no man, go ahead. He took off down the street and ran smack into the back of this truck, threw him about 50 yards down, get down there, his bone hanging out of his leg, and I'm like, oh my God, I had a guy on there that would have killed me, you know, and man, so I see evidence in my life coming through in my life that show me that God has been there all the time.
Speaker 5:Some things that could have happened didn't happen. She'd been here a couple of days. You met LaManda, yeah, and only been here a couple of days and met LaManda and the love that she had for somebody she didn't even know and ever since then. And then she saw me, like uh, a week or so later I came down for the life skill class and she came out having to see me. Hey, how you doing, edward, she remember my name. She show is nice.
Speaker 2:And then I found out she run the place. That's the show that you're talking about. Yeah, that's the love, yeah that's the love.
Speaker 5:So when you see that, you know you don't never know who people are, but you're looking at their actions and their behavior more than what's coming out of their mouth. She never introduced herself to the CO or none of that stuff. It was just hey, how you doing? And it was just that friendly love and I've been friends with her ever since. Every time she sees me she gives me a big old hug. I love her. She is so sweet, she really is, and we're blessed to have her here running this. Okay, she really is and we're blessed to have her he'll run in this game.
Speaker 5:Don't ask me to talk.
Speaker 2:I like to wait until she grabs the Kleenex and wiping her eyes, your turn well, amanda. Before we conclude today as the leader of Topeka Rescue Mission, what's it like to have a team member like Edward? Sigh sigh, what's it like to have a team member like Edward, and that was before he said he loved it.
Speaker 3:I know I'm just trying to. I've been Miriam and I have been texting, telling each other don't look at each other Because she starts to cry. Then I start to cry. So well, a couple of things, you know.
Speaker 3:I think everything we should do and I'm not saying that I always get it right, but everything we should do should have such a kingdom focus and perspective. It just really puts life in perspective because one day this is not going to be the life that we have and the decisions people make now in this life determine their eternity. And when you phrase that and have to rephrase that every day right, because I can get caught up in meetings or get caught up in schedules or audits or whatever, none of that should overshadow and when we put it to the perspective of what we do in that eight hours, 10 hours, 24 hours for some of us that are 24-7, that what we do could be impacting someone's eternity Just makes everything else seem so insignificant. And so having someone like Edward on the team, knowing that he recognizes from the time he walks into that place to the time he leaves, and his prayer life when he's at home by himself, and making sure that he is healthy.
Speaker 3:All of these different things he gets it. He looks at that person and does not see them as an addict. He sees them as a name. Who has an addiction. It's very different. And then he strives to relate to that person, hold that person accountable, love them, laugh with them, put them out when they need to. All of these things.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:With a kingdom focus, because it's not about this earth, and so it just means a lot to me because that is stuff that I can model, but I can't teach. I can't teach Edward to have his heart for the Lord and his heart for people the way that he does. That is ingrained in him because of his walk with the Lord. I can give Edward tools from communications, de-escalations, all of these things, which is what we should, but when we remove all of that to be able to identify someone as they are walking a life right now, that will not continue to be their life and that when they get to the end of this life, they're faced with a different eternity, heaven or hell. He has that perspective and that means a lot to me. And that means a lot to me. There is something so special about Edward that not even just me as the CEO, but just me as someone who got to know him. We were going in the door at the same time that first day to meet and I just said well, hey, I don't think I've met you. And he looked at me and he goes well, no, I don't think you have. So he puts his hand out, I put my hand out. And then I said well, tell me something about you. He goes well, what do you want to know? And I said were you going to go ride that motorcycle? No, I'm not. And I he said, are you? And I said no, I'm not, Um. But then that quickly turned into an Arkansas connection and all of these things and I found myself in that 10 minutes of talking to him, so rejuvenated and joyful, Um, and I needed that, and he has no idea what I was walking through during that time and needed that laughter and all that in that moment.
Speaker 3:A couple of weeks later, when he said, I met him again, I went past him, talked to him and everything went past him. And then it was over at the men's shelter and he told me he was coming over here for classes. I go to leave him and very clearly I hear the Lord tell me it's time for you to hear all of his story. And so I stop and I'm like in my car and I'm like, okay, well, what am I supposed to do? Go get him, Put him in your car, Bring him over to the children's palace and hear his story. So I go back into the men's side and hear his story. So I'll go back into the men's side.
Speaker 3:And I said you got plans for today. He said, well, I always have some plan, why? And I said I feel like I'm supposed to hear your whole life story. And he said, well, I'll share it. And I said, well, we're setting up right now audio to do videos and photographs of people. And I said I know you don't really know me, but I really think the Lord has chosen you right now to share your story. And he said, um, I care for you already, so whatever you need me to do.
Speaker 3:And this crazy man got in my car and he has no idea that was that, yeah, I'm not the best driver, and I did look at him and I said just so, and he has no idea how crazy that was yeah, I'm not the best driver.
Speaker 3:And I did look at him and I said just so you know everybody warns people that get in my car. So I'm just giving you the warning that apparently other people think I'm not the best driver. But then I said, second of all, I put my hands up and I said I promise I really am safe and he looks at me and goes well, I am too, and I said, I said okay, then let's go for a ride.
Speaker 3:Because I thought, how crazy is it that this woman? Because he didn't know, he didn't know what I did here, he's just seen me twice, you know. And then I'm like, well, get in my car, come with me, you know, um. And so we get in and he starts to just unpack on video and multiple times, as Edward was talking, the Lord just continued to tell me I love this man and my prayer, as I was standing behind the people doing the interviews and stuff, was then Lord, show that to him over and over and over, show that to him. And so I hope you know, being a staff member and all of that, like I hope we do that as well as we humanly can, to show our staff like the Lord loves you, just how you're pursuing other people and serving other people. You're loved and valued by the Lord too and us. So I hope we've done that.
Speaker 3:But the other side of it is I just know God is going to continue to be faithful to Edward, just like he is of any of us, of his pursuant of us, to say I sent my son to die for you. I made you in my image, I want fellowship with you. It's just a matter of who hears that and who receives that. And so now, moving in this new season with Edward, my prayer, I think, has shifted from the Lord reminding Edward of how much he's loved by the Lord to Edward continually walking and receiving that, and that is my new prayer for him. And he doesn't know it, but he really signed a contract with us until like 2077. But you know, yeah that's right.
Speaker 2:It seems to be fine with that. Yeah, edward, you've showed to us today how much you love the Lord and how grateful you are to him for sending you here, and but you've also heard how grateful everybody else is that you said yes, and so thank you for obeying, thank you for walking through those doors, thank you for the commitment, thank you for recognizing that you have been crucified with Christ and you don't live any longer, but he lives in you, and that's a profound doctrinal thing that we can unpack someday. It might take a couple hours, but thank you for being a truth teller, thank you for joining this team, thank you for being a light of not only truth, but also with humility and love for the neighbors, and so thank you, thank you, thanks for being with us today.
Speaker 5:I was thankful to be here.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you all for listening to us today.
Speaker 2:You've heard from Edward Tucker, who has quite a story, and if you are an investor in Topeka Rescue Mission, this is what you invest in. This is one of many things, but this is a person, individual, who not too long ago walked through those front doors and his life has changed. Not too long ago walked through those front doors and his life has changed, and there's been many people throughout the history of Topeka Rescue Mission that that's happened as well in one shape, fashion or another, and you are a part of that, and we hope that your life has been changed. Just because you get a chance to be a part of this ministry, wherever you are, whatever your journey is in life, just to know that maybe you're on that fence with God. You know he's not on the fence with you and so he loves you right where you are and he just wants to invite you on the other side of the fence. So, just as Edward said, go ahead, give him a try, trust him and see what happens.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to our community, our mission. If you'd like more information about the Topeka Rescue Mission, you can go to trmonlineorg. That's trmonlineorg. That's trmonlineorg. Thank you for joining us today.