Our Community, Our Mission
Our Community, Our Mission
Ep #299 – Choosing Faith Over Fear in 2025 at TRM
We look back on a year of storms and rainbows, where fear pressed hard, but faith proved stronger. From safety concerns, construction, limited access to food, to technology outages, we faced uncertainty on multiple fronts. Our teams navigated trauma in shelters, supported shaken frontline staff, and responded to a SNAP disruption that sent more families searching for groceries—while also managing financial strain, facility repairs, and staffing pressures. In the middle of it all, unlikely provision met real needs, reminding us that even when systems fail, people and purpose endure.
What changed us most was leadership itself. We learned to choose faith as a daily decision, shifting from having all the answers to offering faithful, steady responses. We learned to lead with honesty, prayer, and trust that provision would meet purpose—because it kept doing exactly that. In shelters and across our teams, trauma forged deeper bonds, improved training, and strengthened our shared conviction that we are our brother’s keeper. Scripture framed our steps, and “perfect love casts out fear” became a daily practice in how we serve, support one another, and plan for tomorrow without letting anxiety take over.
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Father, we just thank you for another day and another year, Lord, one where we get to reflect on just your sovereignty of last year and all of the things that we saw you do through your people, through ourselves. And Lord, we thank you also that you've brought us to another year, another year that we should be looking upon with anticipation. Not thinking, Lord, that everything's gonna be perfect, but knowing that your character remains steadfast in everything we need and everything we're gonna face in 2026. And Lord, I just thank you for that comfort for TRM. I thank you for being the rock to each of my staff members and to myself. And Lord, we just um pray that during this podcast, um, Lord, that we just authentically talk about everything that occurred um in TRM as as much as we can describe, but also, Lord, that we give you glory for everything that you did throughout it. In your name we pray. Amen.
SPEAKER_06:Amen.
SPEAKER_02:Hello, everybody. Thank you for joining us for our community, our mission, a podcast of the Topeka Rescue Mission, and happy new year to everybody. This is the first podcast of Flamanda.
SPEAKER_05:2026.
SPEAKER_02:Great. Passed the test. Okay, we're good to go for the rest of the year.
SPEAKER_07:I've not written it correctly so far. Every time I've done the wrong year. Nobody has. Nobody has.
SPEAKER_02:2026, yeah, January the 6th. That's when we're recording today. This is podcast number 299.
SPEAKER_04:200 almost 300?
SPEAKER_02:That's r yeah, you went to public school too, didn't you?
SPEAKER_04:That's possible. You know what? You know, you just talked about 20. I just you may want to check what I gave you.
SPEAKER_02:All right. We'll have to initial that. So anyway.
SPEAKER_07:I've done it every time.
SPEAKER_02:Well, anyway, it's uh yeah, it's it's not 2027 yet. So but anyway, yes, thanks for joining us, everybody. Lamanda, we have um a uh uh room full of veteran podcasters here uh this morning. And so we want to get to our um special things about this uh day in uh the United States and around the world. Before we do that, just introduce all of your deputies here this morning, and we're gonna get into what we call the year in review. Uh-huh. And so it will take about a year to review everything. But uh we'll try to shorten that just a little bit. So talk tell us who's in the room today, and then uh we want to get to them and uh this year in review. But uh but first of all, tell us who they are and what they do, and then we're gonna talk about three main important things about January the 6th.
SPEAKER_07:Interesting. Okay. Well, I don't know if I want to describe um this full table as the dream team or maybe the wild bunch. Um kind of depends on the day. Um, but first we have Marcus Molinar, and he is our deputy director of facilities, security, maintenance, capital projects, transportation, and and and. Um, so I am excited for you to hear from him. We also have Miriam Crable, Deputy Director of Supportive Services. We basically say think operation, and if it's not operational, it's Miriam. That's kind of how we describe it. Um so she's uh a familiar voice on here, but glad that she's gonna be reflecting on um what God's done through her teams. We also have John Roberts, Deputy Director of Community Needs and Services, um, who I'm just thankful, honestly, is still standing after Christmas, uh Christmas, Thanksgiving, O Snap Food Crisis. Um, and we've also been planning warming centers since June. So um I'm a little nervous to hear what he's gonna say, honestly. He's he's just praying for weather like we have today.
SPEAKER_02:Deep breathing.
SPEAKER_07:That's right. Um, and then last but not least, I also have Christian Stringfellow, Deputy Director of Shelter Services, um, who is often my uh partner in crime and uh the one that helps get me through all of the chaos and crisis that happened here. Um but also on a serious note, we have endured a lot of heavy things this year with shelter services, um, and uh Christian has weathered that well, so I'm glad that he's here too.
SPEAKER_02:All right. Well, good morning, team. It's glad to have you all here today.
SPEAKER_07:And before we get into the you And we do we do love you too, Barry, and we do love Alec. I mean, we can't forget you. I'm just not gonna put him on the spot yet.
SPEAKER_02:We're beat Team Baby.
SPEAKER_07:That's right.
SPEAKER_02:At least we get honorable mentions.
SPEAKER_06:That's right. That's right.
SPEAKER_02:Uh that's good. Yeah. So Alec, uh, he's our uh research and development department. So if there's any complaints, please notify Alec on this. But these are the three big things today, and I think everybody's gonna really appreciate that. January the 6th is National Cuddle Up Day. Cuddle up day. Why do we have a cuddle up day? Mark's really into this now. What's important for you, Softy?
SPEAKER_03:Being uh secure and married as I'm looking forward to cuddle up day. I wonder if she knows about that. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:Talk about it first. Anyway, so why was National Cuddle Up Day formed? I have no idea. Okay. This is a smart group in here. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. Because January is normally the coldest of the of the year.
SPEAKER_07:Oh well that seemed obvious.
SPEAKER_05:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it did. I didn't think it was going to be. If you're in Kansas right now, it's not real cold outside.
SPEAKER_05:And so And that's not good.
SPEAKER_02:It's not good.
SPEAKER_05:No. Oh, it is absolutely good. It is good.
SPEAKER_02:Now we're Farm Girl's going to explain.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, that's exactly because things need to be dormant. Uh-huh. And this weather is too warm. I have flowers coming up. And then the cold is going to come and nip their little heads. I know. And that is just not good.
SPEAKER_02:I had a monster fly in my house the other day. A monster fly. Fruit trees. Where's he been hanging?
SPEAKER_04:We need that to kill bugs.
SPEAKER_02:You're not hanging now, though.
SPEAKER_04:Well, thank goodness you took care of that.
SPEAKER_02:Well, cuddling releases what they call oxytocin, which is tremendous health benefits. And so anyway, and you don't have to cuddle with a person. Yeah. You know, you can cuddle with your cat, or your dog. Or your dog. That's right. Or your avatar or whatever you do.
SPEAKER_06:So anyway, just make sure.
SPEAKER_02:Trevor Burrus, Jr.: Because that's all warm and cuddly. Trevor Burrus, Jr.: Yeah, sure enough. Also, it's also National Technology Day, something that I tried to avoid. So each year from the wheel to smartphones, this day honors technology achievements that impact our daily lives. And man, does it impact our daily lives?
SPEAKER_04:Trevor Burrus It's terrifying when some people in this room declared no technology day. It's terrifying.
SPEAKER_05:That person's probably brilliant. It's whoever that's terrifying is to be able to decree.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that means you don't use your computer, you don't use your phone, you don't can't do your job.
SPEAKER_00:Trevor Burrus, Jr.: You have to like talk to people and stuff.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And like leave your office. Yeah. Talk about abnormal. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02:So what do you do with your time then? Well, Derek Walls.
SPEAKER_07:That's right. That's right.
SPEAKER_02:You get off the devices and go do some stuff. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And let me tell you, I won't mention any names, but this morning, half of my family tried to go to a coffee shop as like a special treat. Uh kicking off the semester. Um the other thing. The other half, we were at another coffee shop, to be honest, because we were going to different places. The coffee shop I went to uh was functioning. Coffee shop the other half of the family went to, the technology went down. 25 cars in line, and none of the they couldn't do anything. Um given free coffee. That's what I said. I said it's still customer service. When it stopped, whatever vehicles were there, everybody should have gotten free drinks. But, anyways, so I had three kind of disappointed kiddos go into school with and the little drinks that they put. Well, the oldest can have coffee, the other two do not have to be a good thing. Or do they never sleep? Yeah. No, we start on the first thing in the morning. Listen, they're not at home. They're not at home.
SPEAKER_01:You know, they used to say that coffee stunts your growth.
SPEAKER_07:Uh-huh. I don't think that's true.
SPEAKER_05:But I don't think that's a wife's. Good point, Christian. Yeah, I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_07:But then I will tell you, I drank it as a kid a lot.
SPEAKER_05:Well that might be one way by two. Yeah. You may have just made Christian's point. But just so you know.
SPEAKER_01:I prove the point. If you want to drink coffee as a kid.
unknown:I know.
SPEAKER_07:You're a little taller than me, friend. Just a little. Just a little. I will say a serious plug that I wanted to do here is uh 2025, actually, we had a couple of different issues with technology. And I do want to say, seriously, that I'm proud of our team because we came up with plan B's and C's and had it in place for shelters, for the distribution center, for all of these different things that we had to do. Um, and I'm thankful for that. So And then there was plan D, which was mine, we just throw it across the room.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, which Miriam wanted to do a couple of times. I did. I they didn't let you.
SPEAKER_02:You did throw it across the room.
SPEAKER_05:No, they didn't let me.
SPEAKER_02:No, they didn't let you. Okay. We draw a line. That was when your no technology day came into place. You cannot touch the equipment.
SPEAKER_07:But I'm telling you, the no technology days were doing that in 2026, too. They fought me on it. I mean, whoever made that rule, but they lost. So we're still doing no technology days.
SPEAKER_02:Preparing for Y2K. Y2. Okay, one more. You already jumped into your in review with that update. But we have one more thing about uh January the 6th, and that is it's National Bean Day.
SPEAKER_04:Which is really kind of counterintuitive when you consider the cuddle update.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it is. It's just like uh So if there's no one to cuddle with, have a bowl of chili. Um But anyways, National Bean Day was um created. That's what they can tell. Um I think Miriam, you know this one. Uh early 7th century, 7th millennium B.C. Um you remember when that was declared?
SPEAKER_05:He is on one. Almost. I almost remember you telling me about your experience at that time.
SPEAKER_02:I claim, did you still remember? Okay. And uh it's it's been around for a long time. It's a source of protein. Uh beans are very healthy. Now there's some people that say beans are really bad for you now. So but do you do beans? I love chili. With beans.
SPEAKER_07:Like with beans? Okay. I didn't know that about you.
SPEAKER_02:You didn't know that. No. Ham and beans. Beans, beans. I do like ham and beans.
unknown:Yeah, don't do it.
SPEAKER_05:Just don't do it.
SPEAKER_02:Right? Beans and rice.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, yes. That sounds great.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So so anybody who anybody who works for you at the rescue mission knows about beans and rice. That's right. We do that. We do.
SPEAKER_07:We pat it.
SPEAKER_02:And it's good. It's good. So anyway, yeah, great source of protein carbohydrates, uh, complex whatever's anyway. So that's our update for January the 6th. So let's get into a Topeka Rescue Mission 2025. You're in review. Yes.
SPEAKER_07:It was what a um segue. You know, I think I've been asked this a couple of times, um, Barry, and I don't know if it is the best way to describe it. Um, but it's the one thing that keeps coming back to me, so I'm gonna trust the Lord with it, is um we experienced storms and we experienced rainbows. And I I don't know how else to be as transparent and authentic and this balance of excited when you look back at what God did, and from miracles to provisions to blessings, um, transformation, things that make no sense outside of the Lord. Um, and to be balanced in that and to walk in that, yet as CEO, to be as honest as I can with listeners to say it also was heavy, it was challenging. Um, there were days that I think we all wanted to quit. Um, there were days where um I did question the Lord and and wrestled for a long time on certain aspects of what had happened. Um yet there is this perfect balance that in every storm there is also a promise. And that promise is that we have a Lord that has extended salvation, and one day because of that, we get a different eternity. But until then, we're on this earth to be in the storms, but to have the hope of the rainbow and to know that we want to share that with others. And that's the thing that keeps resonating is and I've prayed this a lot, Lord, let me be able to talk about how heavy 2025 was, but yet let me not talk about that with negativity, despair, um, discontentment. Um, 2025 has left me the good, the bad, and the ugly and the hope so hungry for 2026.
SPEAKER_02:Sounds like a good movie trailer. Let's get a set up for more.
SPEAKER_07:Well, Alec, get on that. So let's do TRM's movie.
SPEAKER_03:Rainbow and the storm.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, yes.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_02:Um, or after the storm. So uh yeah, so Lamanda, you have been CEO at Speaker Rescue Mission now for this is going into your fourth year. Okay. Gotcha. In April. Uh-huh. What made 2025 more challenging as you kind of set that up? That maybe you have experienced the previous years that you've been here?
SPEAKER_07:I had to choose faith. I couldn't just have it. So much so much um brokenness, so much heartache, so much um illness, so much um need. And so much of it made no sense. And um to just want there to be uh relief and to want there to have stuff fall into place to make sense and that there would be turning points, whether it was um financial things that we faced at TRM, whether it was um people that we loved on the streets that just were so close to like turning a corner and and and backslid greatly and are still in the backsliding. Um, seeing staff, me knowing their hearts and me knowing what they sacrifice and what they devote to and face um some of the things that they faced. There were so many times as CEO and just maybe even their sister in Christ, where I was just like, Lord, where are you? Um, Lord, change this situation. Like, Lord, you have the power. I know you can, I just don't know if you will. And to try to um see all of the um trials and tribulations and to feel like God was not working in a positive way in my timing for my people, um stretched me in ways that in almost 40 years of life I've not been stretched. And what I realized is um Bible studies can only get you so far, devotions can only get you so far, church can only get you so far, worship can only get you so far. There comes times in your life, maybe more than once, where nothing is gonna make sense, and you have a choice. Are you going to continue to follow the Lord? Are you going to continue to do these areas of discipline in your life? The prayer, the the community, the belief in the Lord, the hope, um, even when none of it seems like God is accurate. And on one hand, that was terrifying, um, still is on some of the things that I'm processing. Yet right now I would also say I'm so strong because I realize that there has been so many things that would have rocked or allowed me or some of our staff to turn away from the Lord when it didn't feel like he showed up, and instead, what we've learned is our faith is actually deeper, and we know him even in a more real way. That can't be a sermon from a pulpit. And so, on one hand, I would say there's still this level of frustration, like, God, I don't understand why you didn't do this, this, and this. It just seems like it would make sense if you would have done this. Yet, in that same breath of frustration, there is a release and a relief that you also know our ways are not his. Um, and that we don't have the pressure here on earth to have everything right because we're we're not the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_02:Sounds pretty heavy. Um but also it sounds like there's hope in the pressure zone that you have seen happen in 2025. So I think for the listeners, uh, they have general understanding that um um rescue mission is this uh place of of um safety, it's a place of nourishment, it's a place where people can uh receive care in their darkest hours. Um but also um as we've been packed, and if anybody knows anything about people experiencing homelessness, it's one of the most terrifying broken times in anybody's life that they're oftentimes questioning God. Uh dude, does he exist? I have no choice, I'm gonna go to a homeless shelter. It's not my first choice, but here I am. So there's brokenness all the time, there's challenges all the time, and you see that front and center all the time. Either you get very numb to it or you can get swept up in it and destroyed by it. And so you have to have the balance in that. Sounds like this year was a little more difficult in that regard and probably many other regards.
SPEAKER_07:And I think I would just add to it, um, um, that I I fought against it, so I'm I'm proud of that and I'm thankful. Yet there was a level of fear this year that I personally had to walk through. Um and I also saw that level of fear still do the the battle of it in a lot of my staff as well. Um and it's just weird because you know, a lot of times at the beginning of the year you pick a word, like, and it's usually something that's positive, right? And that's gonna be your word for the year. But honestly, if I had to pick a word for last year that was such a lesson for me, the word would have been fear. And I don't think it was just because of what I was um walking through professionally and personally, but I I I love my staff fiercely, and um there were just multiple times I walked in fear of uh, I don't know, just individual like their own sobriety, worried about temptations and stuff that were out there, physical safety, because we had um last year um just an increase in violence that typically is not um present to the extent that it was um financially um walking that balance of realizing economy-wise what we're facing, unintended expenses at TRM were astronomical in 2025. And so seeing all of this, yet knowing that this belongs to the Lord and that he's going to provide every time, even if it looks different. And so, yeah, I think the heaviness, in my opinion, was this battle that myself and each of us did individually, but also as an organization, where we really had to fight against fear.
SPEAKER_02:So, do you want to build on that with your deputies or segue into something different?
SPEAKER_07:Um yeah, I think fear is probably something that each of them could discuss. Um and I will say some of them, um actually probably all of them, encouraged me more last year than I did them. And um identifying it, and so yeah, I think any of them can talk about it. What I would say about this team is what I loved is that we all recognized if something that we were struggling with, if it was creeping in in the area of fear, we would tell each other, I understand what you're saying, but I think that's fear, and we're not gonna do it. And we would pray together. Um, we would laugh about some of it. Um, we would also be very strategic to go up against the things that were causing us fear. Um so yeah, I I think that maybe touching on fear would be.
SPEAKER_02:John, I've been seeing you kind of nodding your head in what Lamanda's saying here about um last year and some of the challenges here. What's coming to your mind when you hear Lamanda talk about this being such a challenging year, kind of wondering where God is, or is God making the right decision, or are we making the right decision? And the key word feeling a lot of fear. TRM, community needs and services out in the community and so forth. How does this resonate with what Lamanda is saying to you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Um, I think there has been something that what that has been a challenge this last year is fear and uncertainty that our guests or our community are experiencing and coming to us kind of and saying, how, you know, what do I do? Um and those can be tough when there are things that are out of our control. Um two things that that jumped to mind this year are um our food access. Um, of course, there was the the situation with SNAP and people going, I don't know if this could shut down, where is my food gonna come from? Um but honestly, even well before that, um, you know, we have a bunch of big construction projects downtown, the Speak Boulevard Bridge being closed um pretty much the whole year in one direction and um at different times, Kansas Avenue um downtown being being closed. We had Curtis uh, you know, here on the other side of the river closed for part of the year. Um, bus stops having to be moved due to construction. And uh, you know, at our community food distribution, we heard from people it is hard to get here, especially folks without their uh their own vehicle who relied on having to walk or or riding a bike or public transportation, um, especially folks, you know, older folks or folks with um maybe some some mobility concerns that now that bus stop being moved an extra half mile down the road um made it really hard for them to come and access the services. And so um and it caused that fear, you know, how am I going to be able to get here? What am I going to do? Um and so then, you know, that that led us to then try to be strategic of okay, like what what are we going to do to try to um increase this access um when obviously we're not in in charge of of road construction, you know?
SPEAKER_02:Um a lot of people were very frustrated, still are um about all this construction going on. Uh but you kind of bring it into a different perspective for people who are very, very uh dependent um on just their daily substance coming to get a food basket, um, and not sure how they can get here. And even if they're on a bus and they have to go, you know, another half a block or a block or whatever away and carry everything and still being uncertain. That fear um I can just imagine um how that fear was in their minds and their hearts of what do I do? How do I even get there? And so I think we get frustrated because we can't get where we want to go as quickly as we want to. Some people can't necessarily figure a way to get there because they don't know where there is now. Right. Yeah. That's that's I mean, thanks for bringing that kind of in that picture about. So how does that create it's a strategic because it's a logistic challenge for Topeka Rescue Mission last year. There's been those before. There will be those in the future. So what brought it into the kind of feeling of fear category? Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Um on the staff's perspective, you know, I think the fear is is just wanting to to help people and meet them out. And I think, you know, all of our staff were very solution-oriented, right? So um we want to, when we field problems, we want to have an answer right there or to work something out. And again, just with um with these bigger things, it's something that we can't just immediately have a solution to necessarily. Um and and again, obviously it's not all a bad thing. Like we need road improvement, right? We need construction. These are things that communities need. So it's not that um it's all bad or something like that, but in the meantime, people still need to eat every day. And so I do think it adds to um, you know, from a staff perspective or volunteer perspective of just being able to see, to see it as you're talking to people, kind of see that fear, that uncertainty in their eyes, hear it in their voice, um, and not necessarily knowing how I can just fix this. Um, and and having to um to sit with people in that discomfort. Um, that can be unnerving, but then at the same time, there can also um be real beauty in that. And at some point, that is really what we are called to do, right? Is not just to go and fix everybody's problems, but is to sit with people um in the midst of problems and to endure them with them and and walk through it with them, um and and just to to hear and to listen um and to try and understand. So um, you know, a lot of challenges with with things like that this year, but also just a lot of opportunities to really to really connect, um, to give that food, but to go a level deeper um with the folks in our community as well.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Other deputies, Miriam. Uh obviously money. Sure. Uh it's tight everywhere. Um being uh supportive services, the fiduciary component of Speaker Rescue Mission. Smooth year, great year last year, challenging year, one that produces the fear.
SPEAKER_04:Well, yes. And you know, as John was talking and Lamanda was talking, I was kind of trying to think, well, what what are we really afraid of? And I think, you know, we all believe that we've been called to help people. And there is a fear of not being able to. You know, fear that we won't have what we need to do what we've been called to do.
SPEAKER_02:Why does that create any particular fear? Either you got it or you don't.
SPEAKER_04:Well, because there are implications to not having it. There's implications to us not having enough food. People are hungry. There is implications for us not being able to shelter people when there are extreme temperatures that can be life-threatening. Um there is fear of us not having enough staff, right? Because we have openings, and then that puts safety at risk. Um, or it means we can't serve as many people because we only have so much capacity, right? And it is this fear of not being able to do what we're called to do. And I think that's where what Lamanda said really resonates. It's about this choosing faith, like every day, multiple times a day, saying, Okay, I wasn't called here to be Jesus. I'm called here to follow him and trust that he will provide what we need. Um, and we are not the savior. He is, right? And however he then needs to use us, is it will happen. And sometimes it won't happen on our time frame. And we wonder, why, Lord, are you not fixing this? Why, Lord, are you not um just not allowing things to happen, right? Those are the questions that we ask. But I think it has more to do with us feeling like we're not going to be able to help people the way we believe we're supposed to, than truly not having faith. But it is a faith issue.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I think there's a lot of issues here, and I think one is that is a reflection, what we've heard so far, of the kind of people who work at and in leadership at a ministry like Topeka Rescue Mission that um have a motivation that maybe is um different than many people would have about people experiencing homelessness or hunger or or or and I'm not saying Topeka Rescue Mission is the only group that cares. I'm not saying that. But there are unfortunately individuals in positions of um um power, policymakers, um different individuals within our community, and just j r regular citizens that say, too bad. Um not my problem. And so by virtue of coming to Topeka Rescue Mission or a ministry like this, you have accepted that it becomes your problem, but to your point, you can't fix it all.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_02:And you're not God.
SPEAKER_04:And and we're not called to fix it, right? We're called to serve.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Um hopefully that brings about solutions for people or helps them see a different path for themselves. Um and I think, yeah. And I think, you know, we're so focused, which is the right thing, but we're so focused on building relationships, right? And when you build relationships, it causes you or it leads you to a place of caring at a whole different level. If I don't know people, if I'm just feeding them and I don't have it, okay, well, I don't have, I'm not looking at Barry and saying, okay, I'm really sorry we don't have any food. I'm just looking at this person that came to our door and say, we don't have any food, right? And that person walks away and I don't have to think about it anymore. But when there are relationships built and we know their story, it hurts at a different level. It it hits different in my heart, in our hearts, you know, that we know what that means to this person and that they trusted us and we've let them down in some way. Um and that's where we just have to go back to the faith piece, right? That we we don't know everything that is going on. We don't know all the purposes, we don't know what's coming next, right? SNAP wasn't was a very traumatic thing for the community. It was honestly, in some ways, an amazing thing for TRM because it brought in resources that we didn't know where they were going to come from. And so we could have looked at, we we, in fact, we did, we watched the SNAP thing come to fruition, you know, that all of a sudden there's gonna be this suspension, and we were concerned how are we gonna address if address this with a thousand people hitting the hitting the marketplace in need of food and more than that, how are we ever gonna do this? Well, the Lord had already planned it all out, and that came. So again, you know, that faith piece, we don't know what the Lord has in store. We don't know what that provision will be or how it will come about. And because we're human, we are afraid that we're not going to be able to meet the standard that we've set for ourselves.
SPEAKER_02:So it's not just like um you see God do a thing, and uh now we're good to go.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_02:And we're gonna believe every single time that God's gonna take care of it this way. It's not that way.
SPEAKER_04:Aaron Powell No, it's not that way. I mean, he knows more than we do.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, he does. Go figure. Yeah, I'm I'm I think that there's a theme developing here, and I want to get there before we end today, but I want to hear from Marcus and I want to hear from Christian. 2025. Um heard from three folks here around the table today. This was a very challenging year. Um, and Marcus being facility, security, a lot of different things that are in your lap and on and on and on. Uh future development, uh, work with architects, this, that, and the other thing, or whatever it is. Your perspective, and you've shared your story before. This has a unique meaning at Topeka Rescue Mission for you and your wife, because you're former guests of the Topeka Rescue Mission. You your team primarily is uh people who have experienced homelessness themselves, maybe beneficiaries of the rescue mission. So, with the heavy burdens of weight, and as Amanda mentioned, there were some unexpected uh expenses. A lot of that was in facilities. Um things break down. There's a lot of moving parts here. Yes. So not trying to tell your story here, but talk about how this year was different for you, 2025.
SPEAKER_03:2025. To speak on the fear aspect of 2025, um, there was things, the uncertain things, the food insecurity, the uh the assaults and like fear of failure, like you couldn't you should have been there or you could have stopped something from happening. And the um just the enemy in your head. Um that was a struggle. Um but we also seen miracles in the madness, uh, literal miracles, like with the snap and with the um with the healing of our staff member. And um so I um and and the capital projects being put on hold or or things like that. So that fear of failure makes me uh makes me wake up every day and die to myself and listen to the word of God saying I'm worthy and to move forward. And um So that actually gives me hope for 2026 um to routinely die to self daily and follow the word of the Lord and his Holy Spirit, because I know he dwells within me.
SPEAKER_02:Well said, Christian, shelters, homeless services, uh rubber meets the road. Every single moment, every single minute of the day, night, 24-7, 365. People have nowhere to turn or come into shelters. You've been deputy over all of that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um well, I mean, there's the the constant fear that people bring with them uh when they come. Um and then just it's a unique spot of being in a place to to help them see a future beyond it. Um and so that's that can be really fun when they see it. Um when it comes to fear in the shelters, though, probably the biggest thing was probably the attack on our staff member. Um and then just how how that affected all of our, especially our front desk staff, because when it happened, he was just doing his job. And realistically, it would have been just about anybody in that in that situation. So the you have all those different thoughts that they kind of can sweep through a team of like it could have been me, or it could have been so-and-so. And so um one of the biggest things at that time was just to uh try to meet those staff where they were, let them feel those emotions, let them process those things, um, but then also to to point out, you know, and just remind them that God is bigger than all of it and that he's already in tomorrow. He knows things that are coming before we do, and we can rest in rest in his sovereignty and rest in his strength. Um and so a big part of of that whole transition or that whole situation, probably the biggest thing was was that that situation, and then really supporting staff through that. Um they've done an incredible job. I think more than anything, it it really kind of drew that team closer and closer together. Um and so you know, one of our our kind of mottos and one of our things is we are our brother's keeper in that we are you know responsible for looking after the ones that we are working alongside. And so whether that be you know from attacks that are coming and looking out for them and trying to protect them, or whether that be helping them watch out for their own temptations and their own devices, um, looking after them and supporting them, encouraging them. So that that's something that I'm really proud of the those guys and those gals for doing and doing well. Um and uh especially through throughout this year.
SPEAKER_02:You know, when I saw the title that we were gonna talk about today, um I thought it was gonna be we fed this many, we sheltered this many, this was some new things. That's typically year-in review stuff. Which is gonna come out, I'm sure, in a newsletter or annual report about all of the amazing things that happened here, but this took a different turn, which I think is good. I think that um as um having been pretty involved in Speaker Rescue Mission for many years and being um an observer now of this, there were a lot of things this year that really stretched this ministry, stretch its leadership for big reasons, and it really hasn't been discussed so much here on the podcast, but there was a severe injury to a staff member um in 2025 that could have ended that person's life. As a matter of fact, medical people said it was not gonna he wasn't gonna make it. You should have killed him. Yeah. Should have done it. And uh so um but um there was something that happened. Um without getting into all the details, um some amazing, miraculous things happened, uh, not just with that staff member. With this ministry as well as some families associated with the individual who was injured uh severely. And and that story continues on with an incredible story someday that I think uh when everybody's okay with it and they're settled in it, it ought to really be communicated about everything that happened and the miraculous things that happened. And the story is still not over about what's continuing to go on. But that's a journey. That's an incredible journey for all of you. And I think for the listeners of the podcast, as we kick off into 2026 now, it's um uh like I was asked many years ago with the editorial board of the Topeka Capital Journal, you guys do so much stuff. What do you want us to report on? Where do you want us to start? And I thought, wow, what do you do with that? You know, there's so many things that Topeka Rescue Mission is doing, and I just felt like I should say this. I don't care really what you report on, but here's what I hope you don't report on. And that is, I hope you don't try to make this a Hallmark movie. This is not pretty and shiny. This is not uh feel-good stuff. You want to do it at Christmas, that's fine. But I said, please help the community to know that this is where rubber meets the road. This is a place of life and death. This is a place where there is um hopelessness every day that walks through the doors. And this team, this staff, it's volunteers, it's board of directors, the people who support this are hope dealers, as we've heard that term used before, to deal people hope. And you have to have hope yourself. I'm reading reading uh uh my annual uh go through the Bible again, and I'm in Job. Me too. Oh, are you? Okay, you're doing that thing. So I the the the commentator said uh don't start Job unless you plan on finishing Job. Yeah because if you stop in the middle, it's not gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_06:It's not a good thing. Uh huh.
SPEAKER_02:It's not a good thing. But the the thing is that there were no solid answers of why God allowed Job to go through what he did. There was a lot of wrestling back and forth and revelations of who Job wasn't and was and and who God is and will be forever. And sometimes we just have to rest in that fact. In this ministry, um, that you're gonna get people coming at you uh to you, hopeless, broken, desperate. Things are not gonna always line up, but then at the end of the day, you say, But not for God, we wouldn't be here. Want to read this scripture here. I think we're familiar with it around this table. It's out of Romans 5. It says, Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Okay. Didn't stop there. Through whom we have gained access by faith into his this grace in which we now stand, and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. This isn't just about feeding and sheltering people here at Topeka Rescue Mission, it's about a journey that we're all going through. You as a listener going through your own thing. 2025, if you reflected on 2025, you may have had an awesome year. It may have just been spectacular, or it may not have been spectacular. And you're kind of wondering where are we going to end up in 2026? So tell me before we close here today, and then I want to share one more scripture. Tell me, Lamanda, or anybody else, as you have finished 2025, what have you learned that's going to help you, you believe the most for 2026?
SPEAKER_07:I think um what I have learned the most that will carry me in 2026, and honestly, I think it was a pivotal time in my life in general, um, is that I don't have all the answers. Um and quite frankly, this unrealistic pressure um and expectation often that I think we put on ourselves, the the more you climb up the ladder of leadership, um, that if you are pursuing the Lord, it's not your knowledge doesn't come in more answers that you can give. Um but it's absolutely what your response is as a Christian when you don't have the answer that matters. And um the Lord allowed a lot of opportunities in 2025 for me as CEO to not have the answer.
SPEAKER_02:Which It's really hard for some people, isn't it?
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. I mean, not me. I just you know always take not knowing and just go, no, I'm just kidding. Um, type A, O C D, those kinds of things. Yet, um, for instance, and and we could devote a whole podcast to this, and I I won't get on that, but the staff assault we had, um, when I got that phone call um in the middle of the night, um, we will not talk about the red lights that I um went through driving down Sixth Street. But not that we're surprised, but not that you're surprised. We all have flaws. But I knew there was that moment was gonna change my life as a leader. And I in the first 30 seconds of Christian telling me on the phone as I'm already getting ready to come to the shelter, um, there was an immediate guilt that I felt. Um uh one of my own had been injured. This is not okay, this was on my watch, those kinds of things that I think are good attributes, you know, to for leaders to have and to um want to protect your staff and all that, of course. But while while I was driving, it was also like the Lord continued to remind me, this is not yours and it's not about you. Everything about it is gonna be about me. And when I called you, Barry, I was very direct on the phone and I said, Barry, I don't have a lot of answers. I want you to hear from me. This happened, this is not good. Um, I'm being told that the staff member is deceased, but I am saying we're not claiming that. And Barry, I need you to pray right now that that life is spared. And one of the things that you said to me is, Lamanda, I don't know what you're going to need, but the father does. And I'm gonna be praying that the father gives you everything you need in these moments. I will not forget that. Um, and it was almost like you gave me permission in that moment of like, Lamanda, you're gonna be clueless with this. Yet you won't be because the father's gonna give you everything that you need and everything that you need to carry your staff. And um so, and I could go on and on, whether it's um a grant that's cut, um, whether it's a staff member that is beloved, but we have to terminate, whether it is something that is derogatory about us on the Topeka scanner page, regardless if it's um everybody wanting to ask me, do we have bed bugs? Do we not? There is constantly challenges with this work that I was faced with not having the answers. Yet what people needed from me was the right response. And I hope I got that right more than I did wrong. Um, and I hope that it was authentic. I I hope that I was always honest with people when I didn't know what to do. I hope that I always turned us to the Lord to pray and to wrestle with him. I know I've had multiple conversations with staff, even leaders. Don't turn your back on the Lord. Wrestle with him, he can handle it. He's got big shoulders. Tell him what you're hurt about, tell him what you're worried about, don't give up on him. Um, and that is what I think I'm carrying into 2026 is we have faced financial issues, we have faced um heartache, we have faced at it at points slander, we have faced um fear, we have faced uh not knowing where buns were gonna come from that we needed in the kitchen, and the doorbell rings and we have buns. Um there is things that what people would constitute big and small, right? And none of that is Lamanda making happen. Um, it's the Lord making happen, or it's Lamanda hopefully guiding people right when it doesn't seem like the Lord is working. And that response I think is what is pivotal for me, not just as CEO, as a wife, as a mom, as a friend. I hope that in 2026 I'm okay with not having all the answers, but I hope that my faith in the Father who does remains unshakable from anything that is faced.
SPEAKER_02:I think that applies to all of us. And um if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, um, you know it's not a smooth path, it's not a straight arrow, it is a lot of valleys and mountaintops. Uh, yet it's a journey that God takes us on in regards to learning more about the character and nature of Him. And a what some people would say a social service. Topeka Rescue Mission is way more than a social service. It is a ministry of people understanding in their brokenness, even the people who work or volunteer with this ministry, that they're part of this journey of understanding their value before this creator God. Um I just was uh looking at uh Matthew 14 uh and 15 here recently, and uh in Matthew 14 we see an account where the disciples were instructed to feed 5,000 plus women and children, and they didn't have much. And so Jesus said, uh, give me what you got, I'll bless it. Now you go feed them. They did it, saw amazing, miraculous, maybe 10,000 or so people, maybe 20,000, were fed that day with just a few loaves of bread and a few pieces of fish, and they had stuff left over, and then right around in the next chapter, the disciples have a similar situation with 4,000 people this time, and they don't know what to do. And so they're doubting. That's just who we are. And so they're in fear, and Jesus is going, okay, probably rolling his lights. We're gonna do this again. But that showed and demonstrated to them what an incredible savior Jesus is. I'm looking at the granddaughter of one of the founders of uh the rescue mission, Max Manning. She's a new staff member, her name is Mariah. She's sitting over here listening to this podcast today. The faith of the individuals like a Max Manning who said, We're gonna believe God when they didn't even have any utensils or plates or bowls or anything, to see what's happened today and to see how legacy continues on. Mariah's over here, she's helping uh to come into being your executive assistant, which uh be uh fully immersed in Topeka Rescue Mission 70 some years later. And um, God's got a plan for 2026. Last thing I want to leave you all with, and I know I'm doing more talking here today, but I feel like you know this is a good time to minister. And you have the mic. And I do. I well, Alex and I have the mic. So um there's a scripture in uh 1 John 4.18 that um I've leaned on heavily for many, many years, and it says perfect love casteth out all fear. So I had to determine what is perfect love. What is perfect? That's what I do. It's not what I do. I don't have perfect love. I am called to love. I'm called to love God first, called to love my neighbor as myself. But what is perfect love? Perfect love is God. God casts us out all fear. His perfect love, when we manifest that love and embrace that love and share that love. What I've heard today is the fear that is experienced in 2025, and there's a lot of things that are going to be happening in 2026. The whole world's kind of wondering what that's gonna happen. The fear is birthed out of caring. You care, and you're afraid that we can't care like we're called to care. But perfect love casteth out all fear. Thank you all for what you do. Thank you, um uh deputies for being here today on this um this new year. Thank you for listening to this podcast. Uh pray, pray for Topeka Rescue Mission, not in a way of desperation, but a way of partnership. Partnering with, busting through the fear, busting through the uncertainties, busting through the unknowns, to be able to share that perfect love, which is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, to help people to know while they're getting a meal, while they're getting a place to sleep, while they're getting some supplies, while they're in a food line, while they're while they're while they're coming here because their life is in desperate need right now. Pray for this team that they'll be able to bust through with God, to be able, like the disciples finally said, man, we had a whole bunch left over after all that feeding. So let's do that. Join us together and know that this team here and its staff and its board do pray for you as well. So thank you for being a part of um our community, our mission here on January the 6th of 2026. If you'd like more information about Topeka Rescue Mission, you can go to trmonline.org. That's trmonline.org. Have a blessed 2026.